Days Until I Am No Longer A 1L:

Sunday, July 03, 2005

Stupidest. Law. Ever.

I have heard some stupid laws in my day. You don't even have to be a law student to hear some of them - they have books full of stupid laws from all over the country. You know, things like it some backwater town in Nebraska (i.e. any town in Nebraska) it's illegal to eat an ice cream cone while walking down the street and wearing a green shirt on the third Tuesday of the month. Shit like that. But tonight, I heard what is quite possibly the stupidest law ever. You are never going to believe this. You ready for it?

In Washington D.C., our nation's capitol, it is against the law for strippers to give lap dances. Yes, you read that right. Strippers in D.C. are prohibited by law from giving lap dances.

We took Mother to the titty bar tonight to celebrate his last few weeks of freedom. A short while into the evening, we came to learn of the afore mentioned law. How absurd is that?!? I mean really, here we are in the capitol of this Great Nation, on Independence Day weekend, nonetheless, and we want to take our friend out to see some titties before he gets married. What could be more American than that? All we asked for was for a little one-on-one time with the groom, but alas, that was not possible. I mean, don't get me wrong, there were plenty of titties to be seen, but it just seemed so impersonal. We will definitely remember this for the next time we have a bachelor in search of a good time.

Despite the lap dance ban, it was a good night. There was much drunkenness (with yours truly, surprisingly, being the most sober one at the end of the night). There were many great quotes, but this was a full on guy's night and there are a number of significant others who read this blog, so they will not be posted. I'll tell you that we had to send one guy home to a girlfriend with a note - I can't wait to hear how that turned out.

Well, the sun's coming up - I guess I had better get to bed. If any of you are looking for something to do in your free time, you could take a few minutes to write to Tony Williams, the mayor of D.C., to see about changing the laws in this place so that drunk guys can get a little love from some trashy chicks in trucker hats.