Days Until I Am No Longer A 1L:

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

No clever title

So I took that rant downe because it was disjointed and stupid and based on the comments I was getting, people weren't grasping the message anyway. I'm not depressed or bummed out or anything like that, and this is not just about being bored because I don't have anything going on right now - if I couldn't get over something like that it would be pretty fucking pathetic. I guess it is hard for me to put what I am feeling into words that people who don't know me will understand. Actually, there is pretty much only one person who knows what I am trying to say. I talked to him last night - all I had to say was, "Ten ought to be enough, don't you think? You think we need one more? You think we need one more. All right, we'll get one more." and he knew exactly what I was talking about. It's nice having someone you can talk to who understands you even when you make no sense. Thanks, bro - HFF.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

God bless the youth of America

Recently, LeBron James has fired his real, honest-to-god-actually-went-to-law-school agents and replaced them with buddies Maverick Carter, Randy Mims and Rich Paul. The quartet has taken to calling themselves The Four Horsemen. While that sounds cute, I guess when you coast your way through high school playing basketball, you never learn that the original Four Horsemen were War, Famine, Pestilence and Death. I wonder which one King James is?

Friday, May 20, 2005

Worst. Oral. Argument. Ever.

Wow - this makes me feel sooooo much better about my performance in the moot court competition. Words can't even describe the trainwreck that is this guy's argument. Just click here to have a listen - it may take a little while to load but it is worth it and, thankfully for counsel, it doesn't last too long - it is worth it to listen to the whole thing just to hear the government's response.

(thanks to whoever it was that first brought this up tonight and to everyone who clogged my inbox with a link.)

UPDATE: Instead of clicking on the link above, which apparently doesn't work anymore, click here and search for docket number 04-2732

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Pop a top

After reading this article, I know for sure that, once I finally get around to doing the laundry I wrote about a few days ago, the first thing I am going to wash is going to be my pink polo.

I think this one falls under FRCP 69

There must have been some interesting depositions in this case.

(thanks, Cruiser)
See alsothis post at Volokh, where the author addresses the legal outcome of the case while at the same time trying (unsuccessfully - it is just too easy in this case) to avoid any double entendres. (Also contains a link to the court's opinion if you are interested)(thanks, Georgia B)

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Oh Snap!

So I was taking a trip down memory lane tonight and reading some funny pilot stories. I found one that I thought was pretty hilarious so I will share it with you. I would imagine that this will probably only be funny to the handful of pilot buddies who read this blog, but I have a few beers in me so I am going to share it anyway. Just to set it up a little bit, when you fly into a big airport that you have never been to before, it can be difficult to find your way around on the taxiways. Anyway, here's the story...

"The German air controllers at Frankfurt Airport are renowned as a short-tempered lot. They not only expect one to know one's gate parking location, but how to get there without any assistance from them.

So it was with some amusement that we (a Pan Am 747) listened to the following exchange between Frankfurt ground control and a British Airways 747, call sign Speedbird 206.

Speedbird 206: "Frankfurt, Speedbird 206 clear of active runway."

Ground: "Speedbird 206 Taxi to gate Alpha One-Seven."

The BA 747 pulled onto the main taxiway and slowed to a stop.

Ground: "Speedbird, do you not know where you are going?"

Speedbird 206: "Stand by, Ground, I'm looking up our gate location now."

Ground (with quite arrogant impatience): "Speedbird 206, have you not been to Frankfurt before?"

Speedbird 206 (coolly): "Yes, twice in 1944, but it was dark, -- And I didn't land"


Maybe you don't have to be a pilot to appreciate that, but either way, I think it is pretty funny and that is all that matters. I could share some stories that are even funnier, but I don't want to scare any of y'all away from flying.

Sunday, May 15, 2005

So it begins

Well, I took a week to relax and worry about nothing. It was wonderful. I was absolutely worthless. However, starting tomorrow, I will have worth. While I still have some three weeks before I start work, there is still plenty I can do in the mean time. First and foremost, I am going to kill my roommate. Those of you who know me are probably thinking, "but he doesn't have a roommate." That is true. There is no human who lives in my apartment with me. However, there is a creature living in my apartment. It is made of laundry and it is trying to takeover the world. I fear that if I don't start systematically dismantling it by washing it one load at a time, it will crawl out of the closet and consume me. The beast is pictured below.


The Monster

If you look closely, on the right hand side just past the door, you will see that the monster is trying to save its own life by kidnapping the laundry detergent. It won't be easy, but I think if I work hard enough, I will prevail.

I have to admit, this creature is partly of my own making. See, I have a ton of clothes. In fact, I am a bit of a clothing whore. Actually, it's more like a huge clothing whore. As a result of this, I can go a long time - months, even - without doing laundry. Naturally, I have taken advantage of this and done as little laundry as possible over the past few months (also, I have made a couple of trips to Target to buy new socks and underbritches instead of washing the old ones). While it may seem like a good thing to be able to go months without doing laundry, there is a downside. When I do finally run out of clean clothes, as is the case now, it is quite the challenge to get it all cleaned again. I am looking forward to days if not weeks doing laundry in order to get it all clean.

It will be a great battle, but I will fight tooth and nail and, if I work hard and if Providence shines down upon me, good will prevail.

More pictures:


Note the attempted capture of the laundry detergent.


This is a shot of the once thriving closet that has been decimated by the laundry monster.


Face to face with the evil beast.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

I miss it already...wait, no

This is a fucking great rant about studying in the law library during finals.

(thanks, Inter Alia)

Friday Spies: Firday the 13th Edition

Well, it's been a while since I have done one of these. Apologies to the folks at BTQ, I have been a little busy recently. Hell, maybe since I have all the free time in the world now, I might go back and do some of the ones I missed. Anyhoo...

1. If you could change any element of your physical appearance, would
you? If so, what would you change? If you could change any aspect of
your personality would you?


In terms of my physical appearance, I would have rock hard abs and smooth, bronze skin - you know, like Men's Health cover model material.

In terms of personality, I wouldn't change a goddamn thing.

2. Name a good make-out song (I believe the kids these days would call
that "baby-making music").


While Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing is a classic, I like to mix it up with the solo acousitc cover of that song by Ben Harper. It's smooth.

3. What did Britney say to Kevin when she found out she was pregnant?
What was his response?


B: Guess what Kevie-poo? I'm knocked up!
K: Do what?
B: Dang, y'all, I said I'm pregnant.
K: Sweet - can I go out and play?

4. Did Oswald act alone?

Back, and to the left... back, and to the left... back, and to the left. Honestly, I don't know - it's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma. But I sure would like to find out. Maybe they'll tell me when I am elected President.

5. Are you superstitious? Do you believe in luck, karma, fate, the
supernatural, etc?


I'm not really superstitious or any of that stuff. I don't think that I will have 7 years of bad luck if I break a mirror or any of that nonsense. Karma, fate, the supernatural...I don't know what all that is. I mean, I know what it is, but it seems to me to be a bunch of different ways to explain the unexplainable. What I do believe is that the Hand of God touches my life and moves me along the path that He has in mind for me. I don't believe my life is predetermined, but I do think I am part of a bigger plan. I think everything happens for a reason, even if it doesn't make sense or we don't understand it at the time. Nonetheless, I don't let any of these beliefs run my life. They are sort of a way that I look at things in retrospect. I tend to act on the spur of the moment, so at the time I am doing something, I don't really think about any of these things. But when I look back at what has happened and I ask why things turned out the way things did, I tend to believe that it is because that is how He wanted them to turn out. Or something like that. Whatever.

Thursday, May 12, 2005

WTF brah?!?

What the hell is the big deal with Mariah Carey? She just came on the Leno show and the people went bat shit crazy. Seriously, what's the big deal?

Also, how great is the expression bat shit crazy? I have to admit that I never heard this expression until studying for finals this semester. That may say something about 1L finals, but that is neither here nor there. Anyway, since then I have heard it in multiple places since then and I have to admit that I like the phrase despite the fact that I have never come into contact with any bat shit and therefore have no first hand experience as to how crazy said bat shit is.

Also, I have to admit that I am not happy with the new Subway commercials. I am not really happy with any Subway commercials, especially the ones that have Jared in them. The commercial I am talking about is the one where our boy J says that Subway is doubling their menu because you can get any sub toasted now. I don't think that is really doubling. That is just saying that you can get all of the same old sandwiches cooked now. It would be akin to McDonald's saying that they have doubled their menu by saying that they offer all of their sandwiches raw now. Sorry, Jered, I'm not buying it.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Your ego's writing checks your body can't cash

So apparently there was a big ol' security scare in DC today. Despite living about 6 blocks from the evacuated White House, I didn't even hear about this until about 6pm. Oh well. Anyway, apparently two guys flew there Cessna 150 into the prohibited airspace over DC, prompting the evacuation of the aforementioned White House in addition to the Capitol and the Supreme Court. As I pilot myself, I just have this to offer. These guys are freakin' idiots. I learned to fly before 9/11 and even then you just don't fly into this airspace, period. There are plenty of what are called "restricted" areas all over the country. Your best bet is to steer clear of these, but even these can be penetrated in certain circumstances. But the airspace over DC is called "prohibited" and flying in it is just that - prohibited, end of story. I haven't flown around here since I moved here and one of the reasons is the fact that it is such a pain in the ass to deal with the airspace restrictions around here, not to mention the fact that I have no desire to deal with the consequences of an even unintentional violation. These two cats are not going to be flying for a while. Even if the deal today was an accident, it led to the evacuation of some 15,000 people and the launching of 2 Air Force jets and an Army helicopter. Chances are the instructor was building his time to get a job at an airline. I hope he wasn't looking forward to that too much. This makes me wish that my internship at the FAA Chief Counsel office had already started today - this would be fun to talk about at the office.

A letter

Dear Guy Operating a Jackhammer Directly Outside My Window,

I fucking hate you. I hope you get hit by a truck.

Toodles,
Jack

Monday, May 09, 2005

Take a look at my cousin, he's broke, don't do shit.

So I thought with finals being over and school out for the semester, Ithought I would have free time to do interesting things that I would be able to write about. I was wrong. Here's a quick rundown of what I did today. Get ready to be wowed...
  • Woke up early to let my buddy borrow my car
  • Spent most of the morning laying in bed either reading or sleeping
  • Ate lunch - chicken strips and mini corn dogs
  • Watched Family Guy
  • Watched Friday Night Lights (fairly decent, I thought)
  • Read a little more
  • Took a nap - all that work today had tuckered me out
  • Woke up, read a little more
  • Ate dinner - chicken strips and mini corn dogs (that's not a typo)
  • Watched 3 more episodes of Family Guy
  • Wrote a blog post
Pretty exciting, I know. Just in case you were wondering, here's what I have in store for the rest of the evening...
  • Watch more Family Guy (I am borrowing season 3 on DVD from Mother)
  • Read until I fall asleep
As you can see, my summer vacation has been amazing so far. I don't start work for another month, so I have a lot more of this to look forward to. One thing that has been bothering me today is the fact that when I had 20 or so pages of Contracts reading, I put off doing it as long as I could and when I did get around to it, it ended up taking me hours, but today on my first day of summer break where I had nothing planned, I've already read 140 pages. How does that happen. Maybe next year, instead of taking something like contracts, I should take Law and The Story of a WWII bomber crew as told by Stephen Ambrose - maybe then I would actually be able to get ahead in my reading for class. Well, I guess I had better get back to it - I have a lot I have to get done before I go to bed.

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Frito Boats

E. McPan will be happy - I had my first Frito Boat ever last night. It was amazing - everything I hoped it would be. Even better than the Frito Pie itself, however, was watching Cruiser try to make the Frito Pie. Reckless made a smart move when he went shopping. He bought enough stuff to make one batch when he first got there in the afternoon and one batch when the night was winding down and we were well into our cups. It is this second batch that Cruiser tried to cook. Naturally, since it was Cruiser and he had consumed numerous mint juleps at this point, he had some difficulties. First, he took the huge can of chili and put it directly on the stove without even opening it and turned the gas up to high. When we told him that this was likely to lead to an explosion and he needed to open the can and maybe put the chili in a pot, did he get a can opener? No, he didn't. Instead, he took a table knife and stabbed the can in an attempt to open it. Seriously, one swing and he had that knife up to the handle in a can of chili. At this point, after we all stopped laughing uncontrollably, we decided it would be best to keep Cruiser away from any sharp objects. Pretty standard for Cruiser, really.

And they're off...

Well, this was supposed to be a good post. It was about thirty seconds from having an even better update. However, for the sake of a friend, I am deleting what I worte about the Kentucky Derby party tonight. It must suck to not have any balls.

Friday, May 06, 2005

"It is finished"

1L year = over! I honestly don't even know what to do with myself right now. I have a month until work starts and right now i have absolutely nothing to do with myself - no reading, no briefs to write, no finals to study for. It is great. I don't even know what to write. It was a great feeling when the timer went off at the end of civ pro yesterday. After that, it was celebration time and we gave 110% to say the least. Ten bottles of champagne lasted less than an hour. A good time was had by all, and there were a ton of things that I wanted to write about. Unfortunately, the details of those things are somewhat hazy, so I will have to update as they come back to me today (WonL, if you are reading this, there was something you did that I was going to share with the world - if you remember what, let me know). For now, I am going to do absolutely nothing for a few hours, then I going to get a bottle of Boone's Farm and watch Major League. It should be fun.