Days Until I Am No Longer A 1L:

Saturday, April 30, 2005

5 days 'til freedom

Finals are halfway over. In five days, the wonderful experience known as 1L will be over. Contracts and Civ Pro are up this week, and I feel relatively good about where I am in terms of being ready for them. Tomorrow and Monday are going to be long days, but if I can just soldier through them, the end will be in sight.

The best thing to happen for me took place last Monday. I finally found out that I got a job. I will be interning at the FAA Office of the Chief Counsel, Litigation Division. I am really excited about this - this is a job that I have been interested in from the begining. It is unpaid, but I was pretty much planning on that, so I should be able to scrape through. Thank God for $6 pitchers of Busch at Lindy's.

Getting the call on Monday was a huge relief. I was really starting to freak out about not having a job, but I was too busy with finals to be able to do anything about it. I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders when I found out that I would have something to do this summer.

Hopefully I will be able to post a little more frequently once finals are over. I'm also hoping that I'll get my sense of humor back in gear here soon - I haven't been feeling too funny recently. Anyway, 5 days and it will all be over. It has been a great year, but I am really looking forward to the summer.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Halfway home

Technically, we are 7/13 of the way home. Either way, two exams are over. Property was rough, Con Law hurt like a sonofabitch. Now we just have K and Civ Pro. Tomorrow at 9, it's back in the saddle with the studying, but tonight the schedule calls for some relaxation, no thinking about law school at all, and a hot date with a six pack of Shiner Bock. I am living for one week from now, when this is all over (and also, one week from now at this time, I will be well on my way to drinking away all that I learned this year). I'm so mentally exhausted right now, I can't come up with anything else to write.

Like I didn't see this one coming...

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fourth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Very High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Extreme
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)Low
Level 7 (Violent)High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Moderate

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

Monday, April 25, 2005

You have got to be kidding me...

So I needed a break today and I didn't want to look at Property any more, so for the sake of humor, I picked up one of those law school prep books that I was suckered into buying before school started. I turned to the chapter on studying for finals and proceeded to laugh my ass off. Here are just a few of the author's exam tips...
  • Plan your time so you can start studying for finals at least three weeks before the test date (one week was a miracle for me this semester)
  • You should be completely finished at least two nights before an exam is given (how about two hours? two minutes?)
  • The first thing to do is go over the casebook table of contents which you have already memorized (emphasis added)(the case book has a table of contents?) - This should immediately bring all the major points back to you
  • Then go through each case in your casebook, studying the rule you wrote at the top before the semester started (you know, in that month you set aside before school to get at least three weeks ahead in your reading before the first day - no, seriously, this is in the book)
  • Use the mnemonic stick figure to bring back the facts of the case and carefully read marginal notes which you have added during class discussions, memorizing any summation lists the professor has given out (my Property exam is tomorrow and I have yet to open my casebook once while preparing for it. Also, I can't draw stick figures - does that mean that I am totally screwed?)
  • If something is not clear, read the case itself for clarification.
  • Supplement your studying with any other outlines or summation material you have.
Is it possible for me to get a refund of the $16.95 that I spent on this book because the author was clearly on crack.

And remember, procrastination is the Lorelei of the legal profession - if you succumb to her siren song, you will be dashed against the rocks. (No, seriously, that is in the book too)

Friday, April 22, 2005

Ding, Fries Are Done

After spending about 9 hours at school working with my study group on an attack sheet for my Property final and another 2 or so hours at home working on my pitiful Con Law outline, this is how the productive part of my day came to an end...

10:05 pm - Realize that I have hit a wall and am going to accomplish nothing more tonight.

10:06 pm - Realize with much dismay that the liquor store that is less than 150 paces from my apartment (along with pretty much all other liquor stores in DC) closed at 10:00 pm.

10:08 pm - Remember that I have a half of a bottle of wine in my fridge.

10:09 pm - Consider the fact that, since said bottle of wine has been sitting opened in my fridge since mid January, chances are good that it has lost all taste.

10:10 pm - Decided that I don't really care about taste at this point, it's either the wine or a bottle of Listerine.

10:11 pm - Retrive said bottle of wine from fridge and proceed to consume.

It actually isn't that bad. Note that nowhere in there did I mention anything about getting a glass - I don't have time for that crap and I don't feel like having to do more dishes either.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Well, good - I called this

So in order to celebrate the last day of classes, I decided to wear my cowboy hat to school today. I’m not sure why this is really something that can be equated to celebrating, but I like wearing my cowboy hat and I was in a cowboy mood today. There was just one problem with this. My plan backfired in Civ Pro. See, the first case in Civ Pro today happened to take place in Texas. Naturally, Prof. CP called on me for this case.

Normally, this wouldn’t have been too much of a problem. I could just BS my way through things like I usually do. I had even actually read this case, so I should at least have some clue as to what was going on. However, like I said before, I am in a celebratory mood today. All of you who know me know what that means. I started with a Bud Light with my ramen lunch at about 11:30 this morning. I had a few more before I came to school and another during Contracts. Then, in the hour and ten minute break between Contracts and Civ Pro, a few of us went to Lindy’s where I had a few more beers. Then I came straight back here and was the first one to be called on in class. Well, good.

Actually, this was not the train wreck that it had the potential to be. In fact, quite the opposite. With a little help from Prof. CP and the High Court Case Summaries, I managed to get through the questions he had for me. I feel comfortable with my performance. And I did all of this with a decent amount of beer in me. This could mean great things for next year.

I had better make sure that I have some damn good malpractice insurance once I finally start practicing.


Section 14ers (and anybody else who is nosy), check out our blog - I left y'all a little note there.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

What the hell is Frito Pie

So, I have had something weird going on. I seem to be getting inundated by Frito Pie everywhere I go.

First of all, in the real world, Detroit and Saucy Little Hat have been talking about Frito Pie non-stop for a while now. I don't really know why, but it seems to always come up when I am around them.

Then, in my parallel universe that is the blog world, I ran across this post. Apparently E. McPan and THL seem to think that men are comparable to Frito Pie.

First of all, I thought it was really weird that something as odd as Frito Pie should come up at the same time in real life and the blogs.

The main problem that I have with this, though, is that I have no idea what the hell Frito Pie even is. This worries me because it sounds like it would be wonderful and I feel like I am really missing out. It seems that everybody but me, both at school and on the blogs, knows what Frito Pie is. Anybody who knows me knows that I loves me some Fritos, especially for breakfast. I think I would really enjoy a pie that contained Fritos. If anybody wants to send a Frito Pie this way, that would be hot.

I was wondering when this would happen

Well, I have finally had the whole blog book chain letter deal forced upon me. Thank you, Legally Intoxicated, for giving me something to do instead of studying for con law. Before I get into this, I just want to remind you all that, while I love to read, I am not really into the classics, so my answers may not be as high-minded as some of the rest out there.

1. You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451, which book do you want to be saved?

I am going to have to go with The Right Stuff, by Tom Wolfe. This is by far my favorite book, one that I read over and over. While saving it might not be the benefit to society that saving a work by one of history's literary giants, this is my blog and I can be selfish if I want.

2. Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?

Well, I would imagine that this question is supposed to be in reference to a character in a book, but plenty of other people have mentioned characters from movies, so I am going to say Ariel from The Little Mermaid (when she is in human form, of course). I guess I have a thing for redheads.

3. The last book you purchased?

Constitutional Law in West's Black Letter Series, written by Jerome S. Barron and C. Thomas Dienes. This book is hot. My con law final is coming up soon and I am fairly close to clueless in that class. I had some major focus issues in that class and therefore my notes are horrible. Thankfully, my teacher in that class is C. Thomas Dienes and the book follows along with his lecture almost word for word.

4. What are you currently reading?

Civil Procedure Cases and Materials; Cound, Friedenthal, Miller and Sexton
Problems in Contract Law; Knapp, Crystal and Prince
Property, An Introduction to the Concept and the Institution; Donahue, Kauper and Martin
Constitutional Law; Principles and Policy, Cases and Materials; Barron, Dienes, McCormack and Reddish

That's it - those four books are the only books I have read since January. I hate law school.

5. Five books you would take to a deserted island?

1. Rafts and Raft Building, An Introduction
2. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Feeding Yourself on a Deserted Island
3. Thatched Roof Shelter Building for Dummies
4. 1001 Ways to Keep Your Sanity While Stranded on a Deserted Island
5. Constitutional Law from West's Black Letter Law Series - seeing as how it is the only thing that is going to keep me from failing out of law school, it is soon going to be my new best friend.

That about does it. I guess I have to pass this on to someone else. How about WonL - this can be the first step towards getting back on my good side after I found out today that you lied to me!

Monday, April 18, 2005

Oh look. Braveheart

I need to get some new sunglasses. Thinking about sunglasses made me think about a bit by one of my favorite comedians, Ron White. It's pretty funny, so I thought I would share it with you. It goes a little like this...

How come a pair of sunglasses costs more than a color TV. I went to the Sunglass Hut the other day and saw a pair of glasses I liked. I didn't love them - I didn't. Three hundred and nine bucks. So I asked the guy working there, very politely, "how do you sleep at night, you prick?" I told him I went to Wal Mart the other day and bought a 25 inch color television set for 275 dollars. He said to me, "I don't think you get it, sir." "I'm listening." He said, "these glasses block 100% of all UV rays." I said, "no, I don't think you get it - this thing decodes a digital satellite signal it picks up from outer fucking space." Turns out the glasses got basic cable and I felt like a dickhead.

And you thought Artest was bad

Those crazy Russian chess fans are out of control.

Friday, April 15, 2005

Life is Good

Well, it is finals crunch time - I have basically put myself into study lockdown. What's more, it is finals crunch time on a law student budget. That means that I went to the grocery store today and bought 20 packs of ramen, a case of Mountain Dew and a box of No-Doze - actually, not even No-Doze but rather Safeway brand Maximum Strength Stay Awake. This is going to be a fun weekend.

In other news, I enjoy the smell of use Band-Aids - is that totally gross? (Note - this is something that has been around for a long time and is not simply a factor of outlining getting to my head)

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

OK, I'm not that bad

I added a new group of links to the sidebar. They are kinda like my motivation for these next few weeks specifically and the next two years in general. Before you pass judgment on me, let me just tell you that I am not *that* materialistic. Making money wasn't the only reason that I came to law school - it's just that when you are a week and a half away from four exams, a 18 foot bowrider and a shopping spree at J. Crew provides much better motivation than all that doing good and helping others bullshit.

I might actually get an A before I graduate...

As a lowly 1L, I of course have not taken PR yet. However, if my PR final is anything like this one, then I might actually have a shot at getting a decent grade before I graduate.

In other news, after this Civ Pro class that I am sitting through is over, I only have four days of classes left this year. Plus, they have bbq and free beer at school today.

Monday, April 11, 2005

Y'all thought I was bitter...

While I may have gone of on an incredibly long rant, at least I didn't do a full statistical breakdown of the moot court competition. To get all the info on the GW Moot Court Board First Year Competition, check out this post for day one and this post for day two. This just proves that my section (14) is gunnerriffic.

Saturday, April 09, 2005


So apparently I was eliminated in the first round of the moot court competition. All day long, I was hoping that this would happen so that I didn't have to argue tomorrow. Now that it did happen, I am surprisingly pissed. I feel like the run of good luck I was having has come to a screeching halt and now I am back to my old ways of nothing ever seeming to go my way. As much as I have been telling myself that I didn't really want to do this, it still pisses me off that i didn't make it. I think my beef about this goes way beyond the actual moot court board and more to law school as a whole.

I came to law school to get my JD. I thought that when I came to this school, I would finally be away from dealing with petty bullshit. Boy, was I wrong. The system - and by that I mean law school and beyond - seems to go out of its way to compel you do things that take all of your free time and which you have no desire to do. I'm not saying that I am a slacker - I just want to take my classes, get my diploma and finally get on with my life. Apparently, that is not possible.

It seems like it is coming at me from all directions - like there is some kind of set in stone formula that you have to follow over your three years in law school. First of all, I don't want to do the whole Big Law thing. I never have. Apparently, I am fucking crazy for this. Everywhere I turn, I feel like I am being funneled down a certain path that I don't want to go down. Granted, the majority of people who are here want to do that and it makes sense that the school concentrates on that, but I just get the feeling that that is all they care about. E. Spat hit the nail on the head tonight when she said that they take a group of people who theoretically could be diverse and interesting and spend three years turning them into pretentious assholes. God help me if I end up like that.

Since there is such an emphasis on securing for everyone the coveted Big Law job, all the advice that I get seems to be geared towards that. It is so overwhelming that I feel like I have no choice but to follow it. I don't want to be on a journal. I would love to write an article for a journal, but I have no desire to be on the journal staff just so I could say I was on the journal staff. Nonetheless, I felt compelled to do the journal competition, because the way everybody makes it sound, if you are on a journal, people will be throwing jobs at you left and right and if you are not on a journal, you will be lucky to get a job as a clerk for a traffic court judge. So, despite the fact that I would rather rip off all of my fingernails than spend the next two years bluebooking someone else's journal article, I wasted four days writing a case note for a journal that I have no chance in making, just so I could put GW Law Review on my resume. And, despite the fact that I could have spent today writing an outline for a class that actually has some meaning to me, I spent the day preparing for and worrying about an oral argument that I was only doing so that I could put Moot Court Board on my resume.

Without even realizing it, I have been working on becoming the exact person I don't want to be. Maybe it is a good thing that I didn't make any of these boards. I see the people who are on the journals and who are on the boards and it almost makes me sick - the last thing I want to do is become that guy. I know that not everyone who is on a journal or a skills board is like that - I know a bunch of people who aren't. But I have seen enough of the "I am on Law Review so I am better than you" attitude that it makes me want to run away as fast as I can so that I don't end up turning in to that person. It isn't worth the line on my resume to end up like that.

That's another thing about all of this that makes me mad. Not only do I feel forced to participate in these competitions, but when I do, I am judged by the very people who I am trying to avoid. Thankfully, I was lucky in that I got a good trio of judges today - two practicing attorneys and one respectable member of the board. But I heard some comments that were made by upperclassmen that, if they were made to me, I would probably be in jail right now. It's the same jerks who I fear turning in to so badly that I don't even want to compete who are judging us and making comments that are absolutely insane, and it is this attitude that is at the heart of this rant. What gives you the right, Mr. 3L, to belittle someone who is making a legal argument for the first time in their life. Just because you are on the moot court board and have a couple years of law school under your belt, you have the right to tear a poor 1L to shreds? I don't think so. I thought the whole purpose of this competition was to help 1Ls improve their oral advocacy skills. How is that purpose served when the upperclassmen judges' idea of constructive criticism is saying things to competitors that is so insensitive that they will never want to compete again.

It isn't just the student run skills boards that piss me off, either. I get the same feeling everywhere I turn in the school, from the top down. Like I said before, if I don't want to be a super-lawyer at a big time firm, I might as well not even be here. But it's not just that. This is something that E. Spat hit on in one of her posts a week or so ago, and I have been thinking about it ever since. I am an average student. Middle of the curve. By definition, the majority of the class is going to be in the same boat as me. But everything I see and everything I hear, whether from the student organizations or the administration or the career development office makes me think, "I'm not in the top 10%, why should I even bother?" I feel like everyone here caters to the top of the class and the rest of us might as well pack it up and go home. You might say that they earned their spot at the top and they deserve the benefit of that, but I say that the grading here is so arbitrary, how can you honestly compare people based on four exams. I mean, can you really say that a professor can honestly and fairly discriminate among 73 three hour long essay exams? And furthermore, the top 10% coming out of the school that I go to are not going to have any trouble getting the job that they want. Doesn't that mean that the school should be helping the other 90% get the jobs that they want? I guess the answer to this is that the top 10% have the most potential to get jobs at the most prestigious firms, which in turn will get the school rich alumni and good numbers in the US News rankings, so the school is going to go out of there way to help them and to hell with the rest of us who won't be able to make any donations on our government salaries anyway.

The thing that really pisses me off is that all of this is the worst if you want to get a job in the academic world. That is something that really interests me - something that I would really enjoy and that I could really feel like my work is making an impact. It is the area that, to me at least, seems like it could have the greatest effect in changing all of this crazy nonsense. Unfortunately, the system seems to be worse here than it is even at big law firms. The impression that I get is, based on the grades that I got in my first four classes, and the impact they will have on me not making a journal, I can already pretty much kiss being a law professor goodbye. Don't worry about the person's personality or their desire to teach and share with and help a generation of students coming up through the ranks. No, let's just look at their GPA from a top five school and the articles they have written, because the fact that you graduated at the top of your class at Harvard and wrote an 80 page article where you ramble on about God knows what directly correlates to your ability to teach a law school class.

i don't want to be a number. i don't want to be a line on my resume. I want to be me, and I want people to see me for who I am and for what I have the potential to accomplish. Is that too much to ask? Based on the intelligence and academic background of the people in my chosen profession, you think we would be able to figure that out sooner or later. Well, I'm not going to hold my breath.

I really like my law school classes but - Spice said it right earlier tonight - I fucking hate law school.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Game on

Apparently somebody thinks it has been too long since I last posted, so I will share a few words with you. I have to keep my readers happy, after all.

The weather has finally turned nice here in the nation's capitol. It was 80 degrees without a cloud in the sky today. This can mean only one thing - the girls around campus have broken out their summer wardrobes. Thankfully, the law school has a patio that overlooks one of the only green spaces on the campus, which also happens to be a major thoroughfare to and from school. This gives me and my friends a perfect opportunity to relax between classes while enjoying the weather and "observing the scenery" if you get my drift. Unfortunately, there is a down side to this. For every attractive, scantily clad undergraduate girl, there is...wait for it...

the per se douchebag.

You know what I am talking about. This specimen is quite easy to identify. Identifying marks include: the popped collar on his polo shirt, either the trucker hat turned sideways or the disgustingly dirty fraternity hat worn backwards, the shorts sagging so low you can see his Abercrombie boxers, the Tom Cruise style aviator sunglasses, multiple "Livestrong" style bracelets and sandals that, while they look like they would weigh almost nothing, are apparently so heavy that they prevent him from picking his feet up as he shuffles across the quad. This guy presents an irrebuttable presumption of douchebaggery. When not shuffling across campus with an "I'm too cool for everybody" look on his face, this guy can be seen driving around in the Range Rover with the DMB sticker in the back window that daddy bought for him. In other words, this guy sucks.

In order to celebrate the rediculousness of this guy, we are making next Monday "Per Se Monday." Everyone is going to dress up in their most obnoxious, douchebaggish, frattastic clothes just so we can see what it is like to be as cool as these guys for a day. And after we all show up to school and have a good laugh, we are going to quickly realize that we all look like tools and change back to normal. presentable human beings. It should be fun.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

So going to hell

So I was walking down the street in Adams Morgan tonight. I didn't go out in AM, I went out about 5 blocks from my apartment, but somehow I ended up in AM. There is a good chance I might have been slightly intoxicated. Anyway, me and Cruiser managed to spend $20 between the two of us at McDonald's. As fate would have it, I happened to walk out of McD's with a jacket pocket full of McNuggets. This was about to come in handy. About a block from McDonald's, I ran into a homeless man. The exchange went something like this:

Homeless man: "Hey man, do you have any change?"

Jack: "no, but I have a McNugget, you want it?"

HM: "Sure, why not."

I gave him the McNugget and we parted ways. Although I did give a homeless man food, I feel like someone somewhere is getting ready to smite me with a lightning bolt for that. If i don't post for a while, it is because I have been stricken from the face of the earth.

p.s. I have a ton of hilarious quotes from tonight, but I really can't remember any of them right now. Hopefully they will come back to me over the next couple of days.

p.p.s. I have a great Cruiser story to tell, but I promised I wouldn't tell it until he was sure the police weren't looking fore him. Remind me to tell this story in a few weeks.

To the consulate of Siam

Jack, "We are going to end up in War, West Virginia."

Cruiser, "It's only five hours by autogyro"

and a little bit later...

Cruiser, "I have shit running down my leg, it's all the cone's fault."

More to come later, if I can remember anything,

Friday, April 01, 2005

Friday Spies

I guess I had better post this before it is no longer Friday.

1. Have you ever been in a car wreck?

Yes I have. A few times. I rear ended a guy one time. While it was technically my fault, the guy was a total douchebag. There used to be an intersection by my house that was constatnly the cause of accidents. The way I was going through it, I had to yeild to cars that were coming off the highway. This guy in front of me started to go, so I turned to see if there were any cars coming, but I kept going forward a little bit. Well, apparently he decided not to go after all, because while I was still looking over my shoulder, I ran into him. The funniest part about it was that he had a big old van and I had an '86 Escort and he got a huge dent in his bumper and I didn't have a scratch.

Another time I was pulling out of an alley at SLU and it was one of those times where you couldn't really see the traffic coming because of all the cars parked on the street. I thought I was clear but as soon as I pulled out there was a bitchin' Camaro right on top of me. This was when I was driving my truck, and he hit me right in the left front wheel. It didn't seem too bad, but when we stopped to get out and exchange info, the way we were parked kept me from being able to look at my truck from the front. When I got home and finally looked at it, I noticed the wheel that he hit was slanted inward. A lot. Like, $700 worth.

The last (and most embarassing) one happened when I was leaving a coffee shop after a long day at work. I got in my truck and backed out or my parking spot without even looking. Unfortunately, I should have looked, since there was a car parked behind me. This one was the worst damage wise, at least for the other person. My truck had an off road package so it sat up pretty high, and the other car was a little Honda, so I ended up hitting it right at the top of the door, totally destroying the door and shattering the driver's side window. And it was raining out that night. Must have been a fun ride home for her.

2. Sunrise or sunset?

I am going to have to disagree with most of the other people who answered this and say sunrise. I'll admit that sunset is pretty good, but sunrise is better in my book. There is just a peacafulness about sunrise that I love. Even when I used to have to work at 6 am on the weekends, I didn't mind because there was nothing to do that early so you could just sit outside and watch the sunrise. This is really going to illustrate the redneck in me, but I love fishing at sunrise. Sitting on a dock looking out over a huge lake that is perfectly still, watching the sun come up and hearing the birds chirp with a cup of coffee and a line in the water is great. Then it starts getting hot and the fish aren't biting and you get bored and start to realize that fishing sucks and you wasted your whole weekend going to some god forsaken lake somwhere. But I digress.

3. If you could change, amend, delete or pass one law, what would it be?

it is 11:38 on a Friday night one month before the end of my first year of law school. No offense guys, but this question sucks. The best I can come up with is that I would get rid of the law that says that they can't sell liquor in DC on Sundays.

4. What is your favorite single article of clothing?

Although it makes me sound like such a woman to say this, I have way too much clothes to pick out one item. I guess two things that I really like are a pair of pajama pants from the Gap that are incredibly soft and comfortable and a Polo sweatshirt that I have had for years and that is so worn out it is the most comfortable thing ever. I have gone entire weekends without even taking these two things off. They are great for sitting around and being lazy.

5.If you could/had to spend the day hanging out with another blogger (one you don't already know), who would it be and what would you do?

This is a tough one. There are a lot of people who I read that I would love to meet. If I had to pick one, I guess it would be Legally Intoxicated - he is the first person I really read on a regular basis and I think we would have a good time, although if either of us wanted to blog about it, we might need to bring along a scribe. Based on some of his stories, I think we might have a hard time remembering what we did.

well good

holy crap. 52 dollars of vodaka and red bull juft hi me all at once,. it is almost 5 in the morning an d i am inches from apssing ot at my computer, i have class in a few hours. best part is that i is preview day tomorrow so ther e are going o ber a bunch of pre l s there tomorroe. i cant waity to make a god impression for our schooo. come to GW - we give you a new liver along with the financial aid.