Days Until I Am No Longer A 1L:

Saturday, March 19, 2005

A "Brief" Review of Last Night (awful pun intended)

Well, I finally turned in that goddamn appellate brief. It felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. As was to be expected, after turning that bad boy in, I went out and had a "few" adult beverages to celebrate. Not only did I go out and tie one on last night, but I went out with Cruiser. Anybody who knows us knows that when me and Cruiser get together and the booze is flowing, things tend to get a little out of hand. Cruiser managed to capture the spirit of the evening with his away message this morning and he did it in law school nerd format. He put a lot of effort into it so I thought I would share it with you.


I. CRUISER AND JACK HAD A WILD TIME.
A. Cruiser and Jack Stole a Ton of Shit.
1. Cruiser and Jack stole a pint glass, a tumbler and two shot glasses from Rhino.
2. Cruiser and Jack stole a napkin dispenser and a straw dispenser (an awesome glass one) from Johnny Rockets.

B. Cruiser and Jack Made Prank Phone Calls.
1. At Jack's request, Cruiser called his mother and told her he was in jail.
2. Cruiser called a few of his high school friends and told them exactly what he thought of them.

II. CRUISER AND JACK ARE LIKELY TO BE RIDICULOUSLY HUNG OVER.
A. Cruiser Drank Far More Than Necessary To Recoup the Cost of Cover for the Open Bar.
1. Cover to the open bar was$15.
2. Yuenglings ordinarily cost $5 each at Rhino.
3. Cruiser had no less that 8 free Yuenglings, plus a handful of drinks bought for him by others and a shot of Jameson.

B. Jack Was Drunk Enough ot Think Stealing Stuff (See supra, Part I. A) Was a Good Idea.
1. Jack hadn't had anything to drink in a week.
2. Jack was working on four hours of sleep.
3. Jack started the evening with a pitcher of Bud Light at 5 o'clock and did not stop until after midnight.


That pretty much sums it up, although Cruiser forgot to mention the part where he was walking down Pennsylvania Ave. with an 8 inch long metal bud vase sticking out of his fly.