Days Until I Am No Longer A 1L:

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

My $ .02

As you can probably imagine, there has been much debate at the law school recently about the Terri Schiavo case. I have pretty much refrained from offering my opinion. I know how I feel about it and I really don't feel inclined to jump into the fray on something as controversial as this - either people are going to agree with me, which make my comments superfluous, or you are going to disagree with me and nothing that I say is going to change your mind. Either way, I am just going to steer clear so as to prevent myself from getting frustrated.

As a law student, however, one aspect that is interesting is the legal procedure that has been taking place over the course of this case (and would be nice if Prof. Civ Pro were reading this). While I don't claim to be an expert on civil procedure by any stretch of the imagination, I thought I would share this article, which gives an interesting analysis of the case presented by Ms. Schiavo's parents subsequent to the passing of "Terri's Law" by Congress last weekend.

Anyway, I thought all you budding lawyers might find this prospective interesting, and all of you who have nothing to do with the legal profession might be interested in reading a little bit about the "behind the scenes' aspect of this case.

Thanks to Georgia B for the article.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Jack v. Amstel

Well, good. So tonight didn't really turn out as I hoped it would. I went over to Dallas' apartment for Gunner's birthday party. All my friends were there, we were enjoying a few adult beverages, everyone was having a good time. Since I knew there were going to be a lot of pwople bringing bottles of beer, I came prepared and broght my bottle opener with me. Consequently, I became "bottle opener guy" early on in the evening - you need a bottle opened, you go to Jack. This was not a problem for me - I don't mind helping people gain access to alcohol. However, someone had it in for me. I was enjoying myself, having a good conversation with a cute young lady about the goodness of the South and the musical stylings of one Pat Green when somebody handed me an Amstel Light to open. No problem, I thought as i pulled out my trusty bottle opener. As I popped that top, I felt a slight sting on my right index finger. I just figured I scraped the edge of my hand on the side of the bottle cap. However, when I looked down, my right hand was covered in blood. I had never seen myself bleed this much, so I was confused and I stood there for a few seconds watching blood drip on to the floor. I finally realized maybe I should find a sink to wash this off in. Apparently, when the bottle cap came off, part of the glass on the neck of the bottle came off as well and I managed to gash my finger open pretty good. Thankfully, Mother's fiance (does that make her Father?) and her 8 months fo med school were there to come to the rescue. This thing would not stop bleeding. We probably stood there for a good 20 minutes trying to get this thing to finally stop bleeding. It finally stopped, and it looks like stitches will not be needed. It isn't easy to type without being able to bend your middle finger though. The worst thing about this is that I wasn't even that drunk. I was a little buzzed, but not nearly as drunk as I am when I usually injure myself. Next time someone else can supply the bottle opener - I'm sticking with twist-offs.

Saturday, March 26, 2005

"Hi, my name is Jack..."

Originally uploaded by Jack & Coke.
Who knew I could be artistic. This is so much better than actually cleaning my apartment.

(Click here for a bigger image)

Friday, March 25, 2005

Friday Spies

1. What blog, other than your own, do you read the most?

With all due respect to everyone that I read, I really don't have one clear favorite. I read Soupie's and Mr. Poon pretty much every day because they update so often and they provide a good study break. Other than that, my blog reading is pretty cyclical. I will have a few that I read all the time for a while then I will switch to others. Also, I am still finding new blogs everyday. One of my current favorites is Moral Turpitude - I like her sarcasm and she looks hot in her profile picture. Plus, I read Reckless Murder and WonL pretty often becasue I know both of them personally.

Anybody that I didn't mention...well, you better kick things up an notch.

2. Are you a gadget person? Do you have the latest thingamajigs and whoozits and geegaws? What sort of gadgets do you own?

I would have to consider myself a quasi-gadget person. I really like gadgets, however I don't have the cash flow to have the state of the art right now. My cell phone doesn't even have cool ring tones, much less a camera. I have an iPod, but one of the old ones, not the mini that everyone seems to have these days. My digital camera is totally ghetto (although that is due more to the fact that I got knocked on my ass with it in my back pocket - thanks, SS). There are a lot of gadgets that I would love to have, but right now they take a backseat to things like tuition and rent.

3. If I gave you $1000 on the condition that you couldn't spend it on something responsible (e.g., bills), or save it, what would you do with the money? (Can you tell that a Democrat is asking that question?)

I would probably use some of the money to buy my mom a plane ticket to come out here and visit me this summer. I probably won't have a chance to get home until Thanksgiving at the earliest and I would love to see her before then. I know she wants to come here, but her travel budget for this summer is going to a trip to CA to visit my brother and sister-in-law when they have their baby in June. I would love for her to be able to do both without worry. With the money I have left over, I would probably buy a new camera (See Answer 2, supra). Everybody who has gone to a big party with me knows that I am a picture-taking fool. This foolishness has been hampered by the ghettoness of my camera. I have seen some out there that are smaller and better than the one I have now. I would love one of those, so I could take it everywhere - I love documenting the good times I have with friends.

Or, I would go to Brooks Brothers and blow it all on clothes.

4. What are your five favorite sitcoms of all time, other than "Seinfeld" and "The Simpsons"?

In no particular order, Scrubs, Family Guy, Arrested kinda pains me to admit this on but Friends...and um...hmm...that new show The Office that was on last night was pretty funny (no, I haven't seen the British version, but I know people who have it on DVD who are going to introduce me to it).

5. Organize a film festival based on a theme. Choose a theme and a handful of movies with that theme, and tell us what you've chosen.

Well, I'm not really the type that gets into the deep, meaningful movies. My film festival would probably be a bunch of mindless comidies that everyone has seen and thus wouldn't be very exciting. Therefore, with all due respect to the BTQ boys, I am going to replace this question with one they asked a little while ago, which I thought would provide a little more enjoyment.

5a. Tell me what's in your desk drawers right now.

I am a bit of a pack rat, so I tend to have a lot of junk that gets put in random drawers. Also, when I clean, I follow the "out of sight, out of mind" philosophy. Anyway, here you go (and this is all one drawer, mind you)
  • Stapler
  • Scotch tape
  • Green highlighter
  • Blue highlighter
  • Stamps
  • Staple remover
  • Calculator
  • Yellow highlighter
  • Checkbook
  • Orange highlighter
  • Second blue highlighter
  • Scissors
  • Big tape flags
  • Little tape flags
  • Post-it notes
  • A box of binder clips
  • Mini stapler (free from Westlaw)
  • Box the mini stapler came in
  • Bright blue staples that came with the mini stapler I paid for the day before I got my free Westlaw mini stapler
  • Letter opener
  • (here's where it gets fun)
  • The handset to my cordless phone
  • Gretchen Wilson CD
  • A CD with contracts notes from two years ago
  • A "good luck in law school" card from Gym Girl
  • Krazy Glue
  • O.A.R. CD
  • Handheld electronic Who Wants To Be A Millionare game
  • Pocketknife
  • Clip-on I.D. holder
  • The extra buttons for my top coat
  • Three rubber bands
  • One lonely paper clip
  • The liner notes from Tim McGraw's Live Like You Were Dying CD
  • Two extra covers for my USB memory stick
  • A tie
  • Moustache and sideburns trimmer
  • A CD with a bunch of pics of my fraternity brothers
  • 74 cents
Ok, so I'm not the most "organized" guy around and that drawer can't really "close" - but I am going to clean my apartment tonight, I promise.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

WTF is wrong with me???

So I took a nap this afternoon and had the weirdest dream I think I have ever had.

I was sitting in my apartment doing homework and I was having a drink. That isn't too odd - I often have a drink while I am studying. The thing was, I wasn't just having a drink, I was totally wasted. There was a little bit of stumbling around in my apartment, then I climbed up on my kitchen table and fell asleep. I wasn't there for too long before I fell off the table and managed to fall over to my bed.

This is where the dream within the dream began.

While I was passed out on my bed, I had a dream that I was in a musical. I don't really know what the musical was. I really hope that it is not a real musical. It was about the plight of a Jewish family in Germany during WWII. The Jewish family was played by the cast of Malcom in the Middle. I played a small role - I was a Nazi soldier. The scene that I "saw" was a big ensemble song and dance number. I was stuck in the back row of the chorus. The song was, get this, "Tradition" from Fiddler on the Roof. For some reason, there was some sort of prop with an open flame on stage. Someone, who may or may not have been me, knocked it over and the curtains caught on fire. Pretty much total bedlam broke out in the theatre because the whole place started going up in flames. I don't know what happened after this because this is when I woke up from the dream within the dream.

When I woke up from that dream - still actually dreaming, mind you - I was laying in bed and I noticed an odd shadow on my wall. The shadow was...wait for it...

an albino squirrel.

There was a white squirrel standing on my wall looking at me. Then the fucker jumped down into my bed and I flipped out. the funniest thing about this part was that I tried to jump out of my bed but my dream persona was still drunk and half asleep and got caught in the covers. I managed to get out of bed just in time to see the squirrel go out on my balcony. I went over to see it sitting there eating an acorn. I was standing at my patio door and I closed the screen only to notice that the little bastard had torn a big hole in the screen right at the level of my face. It was then that he noticed me watching him and he dropped the acorn and launched himself at my face. Thankfully, I managed to close the door right before he got me.

Then I woke up.

I don't know what the hell brought this on. Usually, I don't dream at all. Maybe it was the Alfredo Turkey sandwich I had at Cosi for lunch.

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Nothing can ever top this

I am simply amazed beyond words. Soupie has found the greatest picture ever. You just have to see it for yourself. Seriously. Greateset. Picture. Ever.

Monday, March 21, 2005

Yeah, ladies, watch yourselves.

Your Seduction Style: The Natural

You don't really try to seduce people... it just seems to happen.
Fun loving and free spirited, you bring out the inner child in people.
You are spontaneous, sincere, and unpretentious - a hard combo to find!
People drop their guard around you, and find themselves falling fast.

Vocabulary Poll

Here's a quick question for y'all -

What do you think of when you hear the word "spunk"?

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Friday Spies

This is a deal started by the boys at Begging The Question. Every Friday they post some questions for the rest of us to answer. The fact that I am answering them on Sunday just goes to illustrate how much I procrastinate.

1. Who is an author whose work you've never read, but want to?

I really don't have one of these. I love to read, but usually I read non-fiction. I've never really gotten into the "classic" authors, and I honestly don't really have the desire to do so any time in the near future. I tried reading Hemmingway once just because it was Hemmingway, but I couldn't finish it. I guess it just ins't my style. Plus, it's not like I really have any free time for pleasure reading right now anyway.

2. Can men and women be friends?

This question always sparks debate and I think the answer is different for everybody. For me, the answer is absolutely. One of my very best friends right now is a woman. In fact, I always feel like I have to have one good friend who is a woman. I love hanging with the guys, but, for me at least, there are just some things that I have to talk about with a woman. A lot of guys contend that a guy can never be just friends with a girl without wanting to get her in the sack, but I don't think this is true, at least for me. That's not to say that I have never been attracted to any of my female friends - I mean, I am a guy after all. It's just that for me, getting laid is less important than having a close female friend who I can confide in and from whom I can get the female prospective on things.

3. If you could choose to live in a different time period, would you? If so, when would live and why?

If it were possible to live in the past, I would want to but I wouldn't want to go back too far. I think that being born about 55-60 years earlier would do it for me. This would set me up to be just the right age to fly P-51s in WWII, then after the war be one of the first pilots of the jet age, flying all the new planes during the golden age of test pilots. I'd be punching holes in the sky over the California desert with Yeager, Crossfield, et al. Of course, I also would be one of the first astronauts at NASA and would be one of that elite group of 12 men who have walked on the moon.

That being said, I always say that if I could do it all over again, knowing then what I know now, I wouldn't change a thing. I mean, the above scenario is nothing more than a pipe dream, and even though I've gone through some shitty times in my life, every single thing that has happened to me has led me to this point, and I wouldn't trade what I have now for anything.

4. Have you ever sold anything, bought anything, or processed anything as a career? Have you ever sold anything bought or processed, or bought anything sold or processed, or repaired anything sold, bought,
or processed, as a career?

I could get out of this question by saying that I have never really done anything as a "career", just the odd summer job here and there. I have had some pretty shitty jobs though. I have sold hamburgers, random crap at the Discovery Channel Store, movies and video games and jet fuel. I have had some pretty shitty jobs, but despite the fact that I worked at McDonald's and have seen what goes on, I still eat there.

5. They're going to make a movie about your life. What's the theme song?

This one is a tough one for me. I think about this kind of stuff all the time, but I really don't have a good answer. I don't think of it so much in terms of what the lyrics say as much as just a badass song. It also depends on what kind of mood I am in. There are some lyrics that I think are great, like Pat Green's Here We Go - the line "the Lone Star Beer in my cereal is keeping me alive" is in my opinion the best single line of any song ever. But in terms of a song that really describes me or is a good theme song, I don't know. It would have to me something that embodies my happy-go-lucky-I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude. I guess the best way I can answer this is just by picking one of the songs that I rock out to when I am alone in my apartment. There are always a few songs on my playlist that whenever they come on I crank the volume to 11 and jump around like an idiot. Currently, those songs are "Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big and Ricn, "That Was a Crazy Game of Poker" by O.A.R. and the bluegrassey/honky-tonky version of "Gin and Juice" by Phish. See, not so much with lyrics, just more songs to run around all crazy drunk to. (about that last song mentioned, Gin and Juice, I have it on good authority that Hank Williams III has performed that song live, but I can't seem ot find it. Whenever I think I have, it turns out being the Phish version again. If anybody has that or knows where I can find it, it would be greatly appreciated.)

Saturday, March 19, 2005

A "Brief" Review of Last Night (awful pun intended)

Well, I finally turned in that goddamn appellate brief. It felt like a huge weight was lifted from my shoulders. As was to be expected, after turning that bad boy in, I went out and had a "few" adult beverages to celebrate. Not only did I go out and tie one on last night, but I went out with Cruiser. Anybody who knows us knows that when me and Cruiser get together and the booze is flowing, things tend to get a little out of hand. Cruiser managed to capture the spirit of the evening with his away message this morning and he did it in law school nerd format. He put a lot of effort into it so I thought I would share it with you.

A. Cruiser and Jack Stole a Ton of Shit.
1. Cruiser and Jack stole a pint glass, a tumbler and two shot glasses from Rhino.
2. Cruiser and Jack stole a napkin dispenser and a straw dispenser (an awesome glass one) from Johnny Rockets.

B. Cruiser and Jack Made Prank Phone Calls.
1. At Jack's request, Cruiser called his mother and told her he was in jail.
2. Cruiser called a few of his high school friends and told them exactly what he thought of them.

A. Cruiser Drank Far More Than Necessary To Recoup the Cost of Cover for the Open Bar.
1. Cover to the open bar was$15.
2. Yuenglings ordinarily cost $5 each at Rhino.
3. Cruiser had no less that 8 free Yuenglings, plus a handful of drinks bought for him by others and a shot of Jameson.

B. Jack Was Drunk Enough ot Think Stealing Stuff (See supra, Part I. A) Was a Good Idea.
1. Jack hadn't had anything to drink in a week.
2. Jack was working on four hours of sleep.
3. Jack started the evening with a pitcher of Bud Light at 5 o'clock and did not stop until after midnight.

That pretty much sums it up, although Cruiser forgot to mention the part where he was walking down Pennsylvania Ave. with an 8 inch long metal bud vase sticking out of his fly.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Fuck me, I'm Irish

Well, so much for St. Paddy's day. Instead of getting in touch with my Irish heritige by drinking so much beer that I don't remember my name, tonight I will be writing the second half of my appellate brief. And the table of contents. And the table of authorities. And proofreading. And editing. Tonight is going to be so much fun.

Since I will be stuck in my apartment tonight, about the best I can do is live vicariously through The Hot Librarian. Now that's a girl who knows what St. Patrick's Day is all about.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

It's in the bag

So one of the things that I have on my plate right now is mock trial. My mock trial partner is my buddy SCK. We were talking a little bit this week about how maybe we should think about looking at the problem and coming up with some ideas for the competition. SCK, who is definitely more inclined to worry about this right now than am I, did a little reading and came up with a six point plan for our case.

Now, let me give you a little background about the problem to set this up for you. Plaintiff is suing Defendant for the wrongful death of her husband. Defendant was involved in an automobile accident in which the deceased was killed instantly. Plaintiff is alleging that the defendant was driving while intoxicated and that his drunk driving was the cause of the accident. She is basing this on the testimony of the officer who investigated the accident and also the testimony of a waitress (with whom the defendant had a past relationship) at a bar where the defendnat had been drinking with a number of associates on the night of the accident. Defendant claims that his car (specifically his tie rod) was sabotaged by a mechanic, Jiminez (whom the defendant had refused to represent in an earlier case), at the last service station he went to for repairs. There are naturally a few more details than that, but that should give you at least an idea of what is going on.

With that being said, here is SCK's six point plan:

1) Our client was not legally drunk at .06 and there is no evidence that alcohol affected his driving in any way

2) The rod caused the accident, not negligence because this guy took exceptional care of his car

3) That Bitch cop dislikes our client because he drinks and dismissed the rod story because like I said earlier shes a bitch (P.S. She don't know shit about cars either).

4) That Jiminez guy cut the fucking rod, metal doesn't shear like that, and his boss said so (the only one in the case who knows shit about cars)

5) That ho at the pub is mad at our client because he won't give her the dick, and now shes trying to ruin him, he wasn't drunk at the bar, the tab went other places

6) We feel greatly for the family of the deceased and hope that they are able to recover from the proper party, the Garage. It is a shame that someone had to die over our client not representing Jiminez.

There is only one tiny little problem with this plan...

We represent the plaintiff.

We are so going to win.

Monday, March 14, 2005

Now this is a dillema

One more thing before I descend into 1L hell. Tonight, my prof extended the deadline for our appellate brief by one day - it is now due by Friday at 5 pm. Normally this would be fucking great - I would definitely use an extra day with this thing. Here's the problem...this Thursday is St. Patrick's Day. I am Irish and goddamn fucking proud of it. I had planned on spending St. Paddy's getting incredibly intoxicated on Guinness and/or any beer that is green. Now, I have the dillema of a lifetime - do I take the extra time to do a really good job on my brief or do I stick to my original plan and wake up Friday afternoon just in time to meet the deadline for my brief. Common sense tells me to save the party for the weekend and make the brief my priority. However, a) common sense is something that I am decidedly lacking in and b) I want to honor and respect my heritige by getting shitty on Thursday. What is an Irishman to do? Comments appreciated.

Vacation is definitely over

Back in DC. The weekend in St. Louis went pretty well. Good times were had by all. The wedding was great. I was going to write about all the fun details, but I really don't have the time or inclination to do that right now. There is one great quote that I felt was worth sharing. This was in the car on the way to the casino at about 4 in the morning on Sunday: DW (to MH), "Dude, are you mildly retarded?" MH, "No, I'm massively retarded, and I am looking for a 38 year old dental hygenist who is doing moderately well at craps." Also, I have the utmost respect for everyone serving in the military, but going out with six guys in Navy and Marine dress uniforms (and all with pilot wings, too) really eliminates any chance you might have with the ladies.

In other news, I just looked at my schedule for the rest of the semester. All I have to say is if you don't hear for me for a while it is because I jumped off the Roosevelt bridge. Get a load of this crap...
-This week: appellate briefs due
-Next week: no big project, but registration for next semester, which based on the hour and a half I spent looking at that
tonight is going to be a huge pain in my ass
-Week after that: practice oral arguments
-Week after that: real oral arguments
-Week after that: moot court
-Week after that: mock trial
-Week after that: last week of classes
-Week after that: finals

Plus, there's that whole finding a job thing that I still have to worry about. What this all means is that for the next month and a half, expect a bunch of early morning, caffine induced incoherent ramblings from me. This is going to suck. Hard.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Peace out. Napoleon

Oh, joy, I'm off to St. Louis. I can barely contain my excitement. Just to make it even more fun, I'm not even flying out of the airport that is 5 metro stops away. No, I get the pleasure of driving to Baltimore to catch a flight on Cattle Car Airlines d/b/a Southwest. At least I get to enjoy that gourmet in flight meal.

Hopefully, this trip home won't be as boring as Christmas. I managed to fill up all of my time over the weekend. Steak and Shake as soon as I get in with Mama Jack, then boozin' with my boy DW tonight - and it will be nice to get back to the Stl bar exchange rate, where I can have a good time without taking out a loan. Tomorrow, it's the standard "I'm home from school so let's go shopping" day with mom, which is always a good time, then dinner and catching up with Gym Girl and most likely drinking until the wee hours of the morning. Saturday is the real reason I am going home - my boy Burner is gettin married. This is kind of weird in that it is the first of my real good friends to get married (at least that I have gone to the wedding). Between Burner's fraternity brother friends and his Navy pilot friends, this is bound to be a good time. Then Sunday it's getting un-hungover and flying back home, so I'm going to be on the go for pretty much the whole time.

Since my dear mother lives in a cave that doesn't have internet access, it is likely that you won't here from me until Sunday, but I'm sure that I will have some good stories to tell then. Plus, there will be pictures, so stay tuned for those.

I have to get me some of that...

Robin Williams is on crack. Actually, I don't think it's crack, I think it is some kind of super drug that he invented - I have to get some.

In other news - I love that Bud Light commercial with the guys skydiving where the pilot jumps out of the plane after the six pack of beer. As a pilot myself, that speaks to me on a whole different level.

Oh, how the mighty have fallen

I got this a couple of days ago but didn't post it because I was wrapped up in this ridiculous blog war deal.

Anyway, this is just a great example of what a team of professional make up artists and Photoshop can do for someone.

And to think when I was a naive high schooler, I thought she was hot. Sure fooled me.

(thanks, Mother)

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

So much for being the better man...

I was just trying to give Reckless an out to keep him from getting hurt and making him look like an ass in front of all of his classmates, but if he is just going to keep running his mouth, then fuck him. Name the time and place and I'll show your arrogant LA ass how we settle things where I come from.


Don't you hate when you have what you consider to be a really good plan, but when you put it into action, it doesn't work out so well? That's what happened with all of this shit between me and Reckless Murder. We were trying to start shit at his place last night then continue it on here just to fuck with people and get them to think that we were really pissed at each other. While there were some people who did think that we were fighting, it didn't quite start the uproar that we were expecting. I think the problem was with the initial execution on Monday night. We didn't quite get as violent with each other as we needed to in order to get really concerned. Additionally, we didn't quite have our story straight, so it was hard to talk it up today when asked about it. I guess the moral of the story is that if you are going to start a plot to fuck with your friends who are actually trying to show concern for your well being, make sure you have it fully planned out before you begin. Rehersals before hand might be a good idea. Maybe a script even.

I think the best thing to come out of all of this is the second comment on the preceding post.

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

What a piece of shit

Reckless Murder can kiss my ass. That ignorant-ass mother fucker really pissed me off last night. I was just trying to have a good time and enjoy the start of my spring break when he had to go run his fucking mouth off. Pretty standard, really, from this pompas ass. This isn't the first time, either. Since school started, this jackass is always going on and on about how much better than everybody else he is, and while it pissed me off, I just did my best to ignore it. Last night, though, I had enough. If it weren't for the other people there who stopped me, I would have taken great pleasure in beating the shit out of him. First of all, the bastard kept taking my hat. Now, this may not seem like much, but anybody who knows me knows that my Dale Jr. had is sacred. But this wasn't the worst part - the worst part was what he said to me while I was trying to get it back. Now, I'm not going to repeat what he said because I don't want to embarass him in front of all his friends who read this site, but suffice to say, it crossed the line. There are somethings you just don't say to another man, and this is definitely one of them. I guess I should have expected this from him, though - he wouldn't know how to be a man if his life depended on it.

Monday, March 07, 2005

Things to do today

1. Clean my apartment so the maintenance staff can work on the AC - or, alternatively, chain my door shut and tell the maintenance staff to fuck off.

2. Do a final edit of the journal competition note.

3. Turn in the journal competition note.

4. Buy a case of Busch.

5. Play beer pong until I forget how to stand up.

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Six Pages, Bitches!!!

Hell yeah! I have been awake for 28 hours straight, but I made that thing my bitch. Granted, it is a little rough around the edges, but the hard part is over. Call me crazy, but this is the way I roll. Yeah, I'm tired, I smell bad and my body hates me for the abuse I have put it through, but I got in a zone and there was no stopping me. And perfect timing too - NASCAR starts in five minutes.

So I am having a celebratory glass of wine - there was just enough left from last night for one glass. Then I am going to take a nice, long shower, put on my pajamas, lay down and probably make it through about five laps before falling asleep.

Maybe, for a few hours, at least, I can put some break in spring break.

7:07 and still going strong

It is 7:07 in the morning on day three of the journal competition. I haven't slept since 11:00 AM yesterday, yet I don't feel the least bit tired. I have hit that stage where I am in the zone and I am not going to stop until it is finished. Over the night, I finished reading all the source material and formulaed my argument in my mind. Now it is just a matter of writing it, which, for me at least, is the easiest part.

It wasn't easy by any means. I had my moments last night. For example, at some god awful hour in the morning, I spent about ten minutes being perplexed by the fact that the pattern of the veins on the backs of my hands was not the same on each hand. I would have thought they would have been symmetrical, but they most definitely are not. I guess that is why I am here and not in med school. A little while later, about the time the sun was coming up, I got very confused about my gergraphic location in relation to the directions on a compass. It wasn't until I went online and looked at a map of DC and the eastern seaboard that I realized that the sun was in fact not rising in the north. If I had just taken a second to consider where I was sitting in relation to the mall and the buildings thereupon located, I would have realized that they don't call them the east capitol steps for nothing and all was well. I'll have to remember that for next time.

I think my stomach is about to crawl out of my body and beat the shit out of me for all the coffee I have consumed in the past 12 or so hours. But I can't let a little something like a mutiny by my internal organs slow me down. It's writing time, baby.

See y'all in a little while.

Oh, how I miss her...

My baby is up for sale. This is the plane that I did all my multi-engine flight training in. If anybody wants to get me an early birthday present, feel free. Man, I loved flying this plane. She flew like a real plane, not a trainer. Big, powerful - shove those two power levers forward and feel yourself getting pushed back in your seat. There is another, clearer picture of her at her old home.

Seeing this brought back some memories. Here are the rest of my babies.

This is the primary trainer that I flew. It is the plane that I did my initial and instrument training in. Not a bad plane, but definitely a trainer - slow, docile, fairly forgiving. I doubt any of my Parks buddies except Heinie are looking at this, but if you are, check out who is sitting right seat in this picture - our old buddy JLC!

This is a more advanced plane that I flew when I was getting my commercial license. She may look pretty funny (and the paint scheme doesn't help) but she is a hell of a bird - like a sports car, maneuverable and fast. In fact, the hardest thing about learning to fly this plane is getting it slowed down when coming back to the airport without setting off the gear warning horn, which in turn sets off the flight instructor (and usually scares the shit out of any passengers). Me and Heinie got this bad boy up to 205 knots - 236 MPH - about 10 feet off the ground (over a "sparsely populated area" of course).

Ah can I forget this one. This is the plane that the flight team flew in its competitions. One of the most basic planes out there, it almost flies itself, but a hell of a lot of fun nonetheless. Many fond memories in this one, including spinning the shit out of it - but only as part of my CFI training, of course.

I can't wait until I am a big time lawyer making enough bank to buy my own. Until then I'll just keep dreaming.

This is fucking retarded.

All this work for one line on my resume. I have officially reached the point where I don't care at all about this thing anymore. All I want to do is pull six pages of bullshit out of my ass and turn it in on Monday. I get the impression that I share this feeling with a great number of my classmates - at least the ones I have talked to; the gunners have all deleted Instant Messenger for the weekend. I have taken some comfort in the fact that I have been a source of distraction for people this weekend. I have even had a friend ask me to post more or else she will be forced to resort to crossword puzzles to distract herself. Unfortunately, my creativity has waned, so I will just ramble for a while. Here's some articles to read.

I have looked at this about a thousand times today, and I giggle like a school girl at it every time. WTF, mate? (thanks, Larry)

Here's an article about cow urine you can read if you need a break. (thanks, Mr. Poon - great site by the way, you should really check it out)

I'll have to remember this for the next time I am at a bar after the Metro closes.

I found out that I like O.A.R. tonight. Now, I have heard of them before but never really listened to them. However, I have had That Was A Crazy Game Of Poker in my head for the past week and I decided I wanted more. So, at the urging of Burgle, I got the album Any Time Now. Good stuff.

Speaking of music, I have a very ecclectic music catalog. Just to show you, I have had iTunes on random all night - here are the last 10 songs that I have heard...
  • The Man In Me - Bob Dylan
  • Need You Tonight - INXS
  • In Da Club - 50 Cent
  • Don't Miss You At All - Norah Jones
  • 1999 - Prince
  • The Tennesse Waltz - Patty Page
  • The Dali Lama scene from Caddyshack - Bill Murray
  • Cool To Be A Fool - Joe Nichols
  • Symphony No. 25 in G minor; 1st movement - W.A. Mozart
  • Bang My Head - Cross Canadian Ragweed
I mean seriously - could you find 10 songs that are more different?

I managed to convince Detroit that drinking wine while doing homework is a good idea. She isn't so sure, but I just think that she needs more practice.

Well, I guess that should keep y'all occupied for at least a while. It's about time for me to get ramped up and start getting some work done.

Like I told Dallas earlier, I haven't had this much fun since that time I broke my arm.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

The Spice Is Right

Day 2 of the journal competition. Things are coming along slowly but surely. I have been cooped up in my apartment for some time now, as have most of my classmates. However, I can pretty much gather what kind of moods my friends are in just by looking at their away messages. For the most part, they are all pretty unplesant, expressing feelings of rage and hatred towards anything related to the legal profession. Spice Girl, on the other hand, has a decidedly different mood. Her away message read:

"Bob Mondavi makes journal even more fun."

Mind you, that was posted around noon today. Definitely a girl after my own heart.

What a great distraction

So I was getting totally bored with my case note and started trying to find ways to distract myself. Since I moved in here, I have been trying to figure out a way to get both of my computers online at the same time - and by trying I mean I tried once and it didn't work and I lost patience with trying. A while back I got an AirPort Express wireless base station and could never get it to work. Tonight I tried a ghetto-rigged system with my DSL modem that didn't work either. I then decided to fool around with the AirPort a little more and it worked as soon as I plugged it in this time. So now I finally have a wireless network in my apartment. So much for productivity.

As a result, I am writing this on my PowerBook, which is hot (yeah, I'm a mac user - deal with it). Even hotter is the fact that I am writing this while sitting in my Lay-Z-Boy.

In other news, I fixed all the links on the right that I noticed weren't working as advertised.

Friday, March 04, 2005

What a sad state of affairs

It's 8:51 on the first night of spring break and all of my law school friends have away messages up right now - not because they are all out getting drunk, but rather because they are all sitting in their apartments working on the journal competition. The vast majority of away messages right now express feelings of hatred towards the Bluebook. Others question the decision to enter the legal profession in general.

I still haven't gotten to the point where I am sick of the topic yet. Additionally, I haven't had any homicidal rages as of yet (although I came close when by friend Burner told me he was sitting in a bar in Venice Beach about 100 yards from the ocean sipping a beer).

I just bought a 2 liter bottle of Mountain Dew and two boxes of Kraft Mac & Cheese. That should get me through the night.

The number you are trying to reach has been disconnected

So ever since I have had to get a new phone number in January, I have been getting an insane number of wrong number calls. I never use this phone, so I just turned the ringer off so as not to be bothered by the idiots who can't dial a telephone. I also never bother to check my message either. I did notice today, however, that my memory on my answering machine was full, and since that is the number that I put on my resume, I figured it might be a good idea to erase those messages to free up some room for the hundreds of employers who are bound to start calling any day now. Unfortunately, my machine doesn't let me delete without first listening to all the messages, so I got to listen to 59 messages. The vast majority of them were nothing, but there were some interesting ones. There were a bunch from people who saw my number on their caller ID and called me back. This means one of two things: either someone is breaking into my apartment and calling people or these assholes can't read a fucking phone number. And another thing - do people actually call back random numbers on their caller ID. I don't even want random people calling me - I'm sure as shit not going to randomly call someone else. I also got a message from Terry at the Bureau of Farm Management in New Mexico. How in the name of sweet Christ did he get my number? My favorite, though, has to be a call from a guy telling me that my shoes were not on the train and giving me another number to call to hunt down my shoes. So I guess there is some poor asshole running around somewhere minus one pair of shoes. Maybe I should have called to see what size they were.

In other news, the journal competition is into high gear now. I am still in that stage where the reading is actually interesting and I am actually enjoying learning about something new. I'm going to assume that that feeling will last for about three more hours, tops.

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Did I just say that?

NDC found, and then summarily made fun of, a site that allegedly provides you with creative ideas for blog posts. You can read that here.

Legally Intoxicated then kicked it up a notch by providing his own ideas, in a manner that only he can. You can see that here.

Needing a break from the journal competition, I decided to reply to Legally Intoxicated's ideas, just for the hell of it.

With apologies in advance, here it is...

- Have you ever done it with a prostitute?
Does it count if she was a prostitute by trade, but I didn’t pay her that particular time?
- Have you ever done it with an animal?
Oh, she was an animal, alright
- Have you ever killed anybody and why?
See question 1 – that particular dark alley didn’t have any ATMs
- Why do you think no one reads your blog?
Because my mom doesn’t know how to work a computer.
- If you could have any celebrity tortured to death, who would it be?
Ashlee Simpson…oh wait, you said celebrity, not untalented, horribly annoying, snotty bitch.
- Tonight: Drink two cases of beer...Tomorrow: Vomit.
I’m already working on it.
- Are you, or have you ever been, sexually attracted to Ewoks?
No, but I do have the 2005 Wookie Swimsuit Calendar
- Quine's theory of Onotological Commitment rocks!
Hell yeah it does – and if you don’t know what this is, then you are not cool enough for me to explain it to you.
- Could you possibly be any more retarded?
Let me go beat myself in the head with a hammer for an hour…[one hour later]…yes.
- What was the most you've ever thrown up?
A couple of weeks ago, I had the flu and threw up so hard that my taint hurt.
- Do you harbor animosity towards a particular ethnic group?
Mommy taught me that I don’t like anybody who doesn’t look like me.
- "I would rather be electrocuted than eaten by cannibals." Discuss.
Actually, as long as they electrocute me long enough that I reach an internal temperature of 160 degrees, the cannibals can eat me all they want – I just don’t want to be responsible for any food poisoning
- Recite the facts of Hawkins v. McGee.
- Discuss the cinematography in your favorite porn.
I saw one that was so bad that you could see the cameraman’s foot for the entire scene – and he wasn’t a “participant”
- I have no ideas of my own because...
Law school has sapped my will to live.
- Astroglide or KY?
KY all the way
- Monkey is to Gelatin as Onomatopoeia is to...
My ass
- Write a haiku about a chronic illness.
“H-four”, “Hi-five”, “Hiv”
Magic Johnson has it good
Who needs white blood cells
- You and me baby, ain't nothing but mammals.
So let’s do it like they do on the Discovery Channel
- What is your favorite flavor of Skoal?
Regular bandits
- Your best home remedy for syphillis.
Following my philosophy of enough alcohol cures everything, dip my junk in a pitcher of tequila
- Fuck it.
You said it, man.

This already blows.

There's 213 pages of source materials. I have a full case of beer, a half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark and I'm wearing sunglasses.

Hit it.

Tell me again why I am doing this?

It starts today. The 1L Law Journal write on competition - a.k.a. let's watch the gunners go nuts. First of all, let me reiterate how totally sweet it is that this god awful thing takes place over the first weekend of spring break. The best part of this whole thing so far is the questions. The Law Review board set up an online forum for people to post questions about the competition and let me tell you, some of them are absolutely unbelieveable. They are so good that they are going to get their own post in a little while.

So, I am going to be working on this thing until 8:00 on Monday. Believe me, there will be plenty of updates over the weekend, as I am going to have to take many, many breaks in order to keep my sanity. I think I am going to get a couple of cases of beer for this weekend to make it a little more interesting.

At least I have something to look forward to after the competition is over. Wait, no - I have to spend Tuesday and Wednesday researching my appellate brief and then I get to leave on Thursday to return home to the armpit of America, the 'Lou, for the weekend. The one good thing is that my buddy is getting married on Satruday, so hopefully I can get drunk at the reception and who knows, maybe even meet some single women who are depressed that they aren't brides and are looking for a quick hookup.

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

God Bless Texas

Today is Texas Independence Day. While I am not a native Texan, I am a Texan at heart. In fact, my friend Dallas from...well, Dallas made me an Honorary Texan for my birthday this year. As an Honorary Texan, I am "entitled to drink longnecks (check) and have a boot-stompin' good time (check). I am reauired to love bar-b-que (check), country music (check) and share the great hospitality of the Lone Star State (check)."

Or, as Pat Green says, "God might have made me born a Yankee, but its time that I made Texas my home."

For a better explanation of what this day means, check out Legally Intoxicated

The Shiner tastes extra good tonight.

What happens in Vegas...

Mayor endorses gin to fourth graders

I like this guy - we have one of the same hobbies. Maybe if my career doesn't pan out like I have planned, I can run for mayor of Las Vegas.

So this is what productivity feels like

My computer was at the help desk during my four hour break today and as a result I think this was the most productive day I spent at law school the entire year. I was TCOB'n like nobody's business. Not only did I read for tomorrow's classes, I even read a case for Friday - if you have ever seen me frantically doing my reading during the first 15 minutes of class, you would know that is huge for me.

Unfortunately, after working on my computer for almost 4 hours, the geniuses at the help desk managed to make my computer worse than when I dropped it off. I knew it was not good when the first thing they told me when I went to pick it up was, "we can't fix it, you are going to have to reformat your hard drive." I knew it was even worse when the first thing my classmates said when I told them that I took it to the help desk was, "well, that was your first mistake."

Well, at least I got my homework done, so I have the night free to try to fix it my self - and by fix it myself I mean make it totally inoperable before throwing it off of my balcony.

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

I'm gonna need to verify this...

Apparently, science has it in for me.

Where can I get some drunk insurance.

[thanks, Soupie]


So I was talking to my boy Cruiser and he suggested that I have a slogan of the day. He even provided me with a slogan for today. Before I tell you the slogan, I have to give you the following warning: Cruiser may contain material that parents may not find suitable for children under the age of fourteen. That being said (and against my better judgment) here goes nothing...

"Jack and Coke - Because necrophilia means you don't have to buy her dinner first."

Also, Cruiser and I have decided that this is the greatest invention ever.

God, it smells awful in here.

Congrats to ALSA and SALSA for picking the smallest room in the school to have the 1L journal competition tips session. It hasn't even started yet and it already smells disgusting in here. Plus, great organization - lets have each of our "experts" talk for 30 seconds then open it up to absolutely insane questions, the answers to most of which were, "it will be in the instructions." The best tip given all night was probably, "it was pretty much the worst weekend of my time in law school."

Forget the iPod

MMM to Burgle in the soft lounge, "Your dick is playing music."

UPDATE: MMM said this was better than saying, "I think your iPod is on."

Also overheard in the soft lounge earlier, "What is the difference between a PB&J sandwich and a dead baby? A dead baby doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth."

Man, it has been too long since I have heard a good dead baby joke.

802.1x Authentication Failure

I almost threw my computer out of the 4th floor window this morning. The network here is less than reliable and for some reason that nobody seems to be able to explain to me, whenever it is having issues it makes a little window that says "802.1x Authentication Failure" pops up. Normally this is not a big deal. However, this morning during property, this god damn thing popped up at least 40 times. On the other hand, I wasn't able to log on to the network all morning, so I actually paid attention during class - amazing how listening to the teacher can make the stuff make sense. Thankfully, everything seems to be working ok now so I can keep my semester long streak of not paying one bit of attention in contracts.

This morning was horrible, yet interesting at the same time. I woke up after snoozing for 45 minutes and as soon as my feet hit the floor, the song "Hooked On A Feeling" popped into my head. This is unacceptable. I logically came to the conclusion that if I went back to bed it would fix this. Amazingly, it did. I woke up an hour later with a Brooks and Dunn song in my head. Wonderful.

Help keep Sunday nights funny.

The time has come for action.

The problem, here.

Potential solution, here.

(thanks, Mother)