Days Until I Am No Longer A 1L:

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Karate Kid Party Running Diary

So it is 6:25 p.m. on Saturday. We are all over at CO'C's house for our Wild Card Weekend/Karate Kid Party. Unfortunately, the Karate Kid hasn't shown up yet. Apparently, most respectible movie rental stores no longer carry The Karate Kid, which is a tragedy beyond all tragedies. The movie was supposed to start at precisely 5:54 p.m., which would have resulted in it ending at the precise moment of the kickoff for the Jets-Chargers game. Unfortunately, CM, who was appointed charge d'affairs for procurement of the movie is running a little late. There may need to be some fast forwarding to happen in order to finish the movie before the game. I figured it might be interesting, instead of writing a post after I got home and couldn't really remember anything, I would write during the event and see who it turned out. Here are some observations. They are made by everyone, not just me (I'm not this funny)...

  • Suzy Kolhberg is wearing "Jane Fonda's workout sock" around her neck because she doesn't want any alcoholic former NFL stars hitting on her.
  • We are now complementing what would have happend if Suzy had given into Joe Namath's advances. The producers could have cut back to a shot of Joe riding Suzy while wearing his fur coat.
  • Someone put JM in charge of ordering pizza - look at one of my previous posts to see how good of an idea this is.
  • Our property textbook is so bad - the intro basically says we can't define property but we will give it a shot anyway.
  • 6:41 p.m. - we have officially started talking about the federal rules of civil procedure
  • CM just walked in with the camel hair top coat - does he have the movie???
  • There it is - The Karate Kid - CM, you are the best around.
  • Karate Kid has the hottest DVD ever - it is a sillouette of Daniel-san practicing the Crane Kick on a wooden stump.
  • It's on - 6:48 p.m. - start time
  • For the 30th time tonight, JC was asked about the break up email he sent to all of us.
  • Due to the time constraints we have skipped the opening sequence where Daniel-san and his mom are driving through the countryside.
  • Now we are in California, and it is obvious by his great acting that he is not happy about it.
  • Foreshadowing - we know D has some mad skills when he knocks the guy over with the front gate
  • It turns out that the guy he knocks over looks just like TM - and he is wearing a t-shirt with two pigs fornicating and has the caption "Making bacon"
  • Here it comes - the first appearance of Mr. Miyagi - the greates character in the history of movies ever.
  • Pause...pizza's here...ok.
  • I'll be back in a second - when the pizza is gone.
  • Ok, I'm back.
  • The moving is going very well...I mean seriously, how can it not - it is the Karate Kid. We are at the scene where he shows up at the Halloween party dressed up as a shower.
  • We are also reminicing about a couple of nights ago at the front page when CD paid SS five bucks to ask a girl what the hell was up with her hat and then we all ran away giggling.
  • It just happened - someone just accused Daniel-san of felony murder - we are such nerds.
  • CD just said "after watching this movie, I don't know how Japan lost the war."
  • Sensei Kreese looks like an old version of Nick Lachey
Well, i wrote even more of this, but it got erased when I left to go to the bar. I don't even know what this all says, but I am going to post it anyway because at this point I don't even give a flying fuck. Even better is the fact that I am still acting like this is a running commentary - it's 5 friggin' hours later.

Anyway, as can be expected, Karate Kid was totally sweet. There was talk of making this kinda thing a regular deal, with Iron Eagle being the next movie up. I think that is a great idea. Then again, I think watching any movie is great as long as you mix enough alcohol with it.

Well, I guess this post has gone on for entirely too long. I was trying to think of something funny to say because nobody is even reading this anymore, but i am too tired (a.k.a. drunk) to even think of something like that. I am going to bed before I hurt myself.

Thursday, January 06, 2005

49ers Realize They Blow, Name CD Captain

SANTA CLARA, Calif - The San Francisco 49ers came to the realization that they are embarassingly horrible today, and fired the entire organization. Taking their place will be a flag football team from George washington University named Toejam, led by team mother CD...

Seriously, how bad have the 49ers become. I'll have to admit, I was raised as a 49ers fan, and I tend to keep an eye on them as the season goes on. This year, it hurt too much to watch. I was raised in the post-cardinals, pre-Rams stage in St. Louis, so there was no home team to root for. My mom, however, was a Niners fan, so, in order to keep the peace, everyone in the house was a Niners fan. Even though I was just a kid, I remember the glory days of the 49ers. Montana to Rice. Bill Walsh. The Catch. &8 Super Bowl wins in one decade. What the hell happened.

In case you don't know, the impetus for my 49ers tirade is that I just saw that they fired Dennis Erickson on ESPN.com (what a suprise). There were some other things I saw on there that made me happy (and by happy I mean not really all that happy).

First of all are my beloved Cardinals. I am not too impressed with their off-season moves. Yes, we did get Mark Mulder, which, if nothing else, puts an end to everybody else in the world telling me about how we have no ace on our pitching staff. Other than that, I don't think things are going so well. There are a number of things that I am not happy with, and in no particular order, they are:
  • We got rid of Mike Matheney. I know he wasn't that great at bat, but he is arguably one of the best defensive catchers in the game. Plus, he did all he could to get the rest of the team to listen to country music.. And I don't know how I feel about a guy named Yadier. He may be good, but really...Yadier? Seriously?
  • We got rid of Steve Klein. He is not really that great, but I have to respect a man who purposely wears a disgustingly dirty hat as a sign of fespect for his working man hometown. There was actually a Steve Klein Hat Day at the stadiul where they gave dirty hats to the first 20,000 fans. Also, with him gone, I lose my "I know somebody who knows somebody who is allegedly sleeping with one of the Cardinals" connection, for whatever that's worth.
  • Finally,, and this is the biggie, we didn't resign Edgar Renteria. Even worse is the fact that he signed with the Red Sox. I mean seriously, how do we not resign this guy. When he did leave, I fiugred we would go out and sign Cabrerra, but obviously that didn't happen either. Who did we get? None other than perennial all star David Eckstein. Wait a minute...David Eckstein? Really? Really? I think I have a goldfish taller than him. At least we got a decent young second base prospect. Oh wait, that's right, we are still struggling to sign Robbie Alomar. Didn't he make it to the big leagues during the Hoover administration? Why don't we sign Barry Larkin and have the oldest double play combination in the history of baseball. We could have Prune Juice Day at the ballpark.
Here's one more little tidbit on ESPN that makes me happy. On the little personalized sidebar thing I keep track of a few teams. One of them is the ol' alma mater, St. Louis U. The SLU basketball team is 2-10. They are last in C-USA. However, it isn't so bad when you consider the basketball powerhouses they have lost to. Oh, wait, that's not true. They have lost to the following teams...
  • Austin Peay (A school from the U.S. Virgin Islands. Really. No, seriously.)
  • Eastern Michigan
  • Oral Roberts
  • Hawaii
  • Wisconsin Milwaukee
  • Gonzaga
  • Dayton
  • Southern Illinois
  • Southeast Missouri State
  • Iowa
Yes. You read that right. We really did lose to all of those teams. And what did we do to combat our ineptitude? That's right, we gave the coach a 5 year extension. How cute.

Well, I think I had better quit reading ESPN.com before I go murder a homeless guy. Before I go, I will leave you with this...
  • Bulleted lists are freakin' sweet
  • 49ers blow
  • I am getting too old to handle Taco Bell when drunk
That's all I got.

Wednesday, January 05, 2005

Brian's Bachelor Party

One of the hilights of my Christmas break was BM's bachelor party. BM is one of my good friends from SLU, and while everybody was in town for the holidays, we used the opportunity to celebrate his "last" night of bachelorhood. A brief synopsis of the evening follows, although a lot of the details are pretty hazy for some reason (it will all probably come back to me the next time I get hammered). First of all, I gotta give a shout out to SS (of St. Louis, not SS from law school) for planning the night (even though he is a jackass). The party started in the afternoon at the Rennisance Suites Hotel in downtown St. Louis, where we had three suites, 19 cases of beer, a couple of gallons of Jager (no seriously, these were the biggest bottles of booze I have ever seen) plus plenty of whiskey and champagne. Additionally, since someone let SS touch the remote control, there was plenty of porn on the TV. People kept rolling in as the evening went on, and the thought of pacing themselves never crossed anyone's mind as they all started drinking early and often. Eventually, our party bus got there and we were off. It was all downhill form there, and this is where my memory really starts to falter. I know we went to McGurks, Humphrey's, back to the hotel to recharge the coolers, Morgan Street, and Pepper Lounge. After that, it was back to the hotel (except for the totally sweet people who called their girlfriends to come pick them up...seriously, guys, that was sweetness at its finest.) Upon returning to the hotel, I had the pleasure of helping BM carry a passed out SS up to the room - I'm still kicking myself for not bringing a magic marker with me. Eventually, the "entertainers" showed up, and let me tell you, these girls were totally hot (and by totally hot I mean I was afraid to touch them because I didn't want to get herpes). I think JM probably still has a welt across his arse from where one of the girls whipped him with the Colonel's belt. I think the funniest thing about this part of the evening was how many times I heard the girls say, "hey, be good" to Mr. V while giving him lap dances.

Anyway, that's the night in a nutshell. I hope it is enough for all of you guys who can remember even less than that to make up a story to get you out of trouble with your significant other.

If you want to see pictures, look here.

Last Day of Finals

Here's the pictures from our post finals celebration...better late than never. I would write a little bit about that night, but I am not going to for three reasons: (1) it was a while ago and I don't remember all that went on, (2) I was hammered and really don't remember all that went on, and (3) I just really don't feel like it right now. I think I can sum up the general mood of the evening by recounting one event that took place fairly early on in the evening...

SR snorted vodka up his nose through a straw.

That's pretty much the kind of evening it was. Anywho, to look at the pictures, click here.

That's all I got.

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

What A Sweet Vacation!

Holy crap, I haven't written anything in a while. Before you ask, the pictures from the post-finals party are on their way. In the mean time, let me tell you about my sweet Christmas vacation. And by sweet, I mean totally crappy. And by totally crappy, i mean not really completely bad, but not all that great either. It was good to spend time with my Mom. It was great going out for Asian food. There were a couple of nights that involved consuming mass quantities of alcohol. Other than that, it was pretty uneventful. The fact that I was sick for half of it really didn't help.

I pretty much didn't do anything before Christmas day except blow my nose and cough up a lung. Christmas morning was great - as usual, my mom went overboard with the presents. We had Christmas night at my uncle's house, and that went pretty much as expected. My aunt and uncle aren't what you would call culinary experts. Last year for Christmas dinner we had taquitos and Bagel Bites (no, I'm not kidding). This year, we fancied it up a little with bite size sandwiches and chili cheese dip. There wasn't even any wine to make things better. Nor were there enough chairs for every one to sit at the same table (or even to sit for that matter). I can't wait for next year.

The big event of my break happened on the 30th. One of my best friends from college had his bachelor party. I'll probably write about it in a later post when I put the pictures up. For now, suffice to say that "puke and rally" was the theme of the evening.

I spent New Year's Eve this year just like i spend New Year's Eve pretty much every year - sitting on my couch watching TV. And not the Dick Clark special either, TV totally unrelated to NYE. This year it was some of the 44 episodes of West Wing that I wathced over break. I have a thing with New Years that I am not going to even start to rant about here.

I got 2005 off to a pretty good start. My friend DW called me on the 1st to meet for coffee. Unfortunately, the place we usually go for coffee was closed. We decided to go to a bar instead and have a couple of beers. The next thing we know, it was a few hours later and our bill came - 24 beers between the two of us (plus a couple of free ones that we ended up with). Needless to say, it was a good time.

By this point, I was ready to go back to DC. No problem - all I had to worry about was the 13 hour drive. And the fact that it rained the entire way. Sweet.

So, all in all, my break was less than spectacular. However, lest you all start calling me a whiny bi*ch, let me just say this - it wasn't bad at all. I got to spend time with my family and friends. I had a roof over my head the whole time. And I managed to take just a few moments to remenber the real Reason for the Season. That's all that matters.