Days Until I Am No Longer A 1L:

Saturday, October 30, 2004

Halloween Party

So the law school had its big Halloween party last night. Good times were had by all. There were three things that really made my night:

1. A number of people came up to me and recognized me as Tim McGraw without any explination on my part.
2. EC told me that what I was wearing really wasn't a costume since it is something that I would wear out normally.
3. Within minutes of walking in to the bar, they played a super sweet Sweet Home Alabama/Save A Horse, Ride A Cowboy medley.

Here's the pics.

http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=142uiy4i.l04xjju&x=1&y=-24kleb

Sunday, October 24, 2004

CM, You Are The Biggest Bitch Ever!

CM is the biggest bitch ever, NS almost lit himself on fire, Papa John's estoppel, AS losing her keg stand virginity, newspaper fights, and, oh yeah, the f&*%ing Red Sox won, God D%&*#it. Wow, where do I start. What a hell of a night.
Let me tell you about CM first. So we are playing a spirited game of asshole. Aparently the rule is that a four is a "transparent" card and when you play it everybody drinks. For two games in a row, PE plays a four as his last card. Each time this happened, CM about lost his mind and said that was against the rules. On the next hand, when he was the first one to go out, CM gets all like "I know this is a weak move" and PLAYS A FOUR FOR HIS LAST CARD. WTF!!! Needless to say, the room erupted in bedlam, CM jumped over the back of the couch and ran into the kitchen to hide, and we all proceded to tell him how much of a bitch he was. I mean seriously, he bitched uncontrollably about playing a four as your last card, then he turns around an does exactly that. I don't even know what to say. I think the best thing to come out of the asshole game was a new CM move. It wasn't the delayed laugh, it wasn't the table slap laugh, it wasn't even the guy next to him slap. No, at one point, our boy literally broke into convulsions and ran out of the house he was laughing so hard. I almost lost my mind when this happened.

So, we get to AS's before the game even starts and we decide to order some pizza from Papa John's. We wanted two cheese, a pepperoni and a mushroom - that doesn't seem too hard, does it? I kid you not, it was two and a half hours before the guy showed up, and he got estopped big time. I don't know how many times we called Big Papa to ask where the hell our pizza was, but each time we did it was an adventure. The first time we called, they told JM that they coudn't accept a cell phone number because their driver can't call cell phones from his cell phone. What kind of fucked up plan is he on. Later, when we called back, the lady on the other end said "I don't work here, I just answer the phones." O.K... The last time he called, JM was finally able to talk to a manager. I don't know what he said regarding the pizza, but as he was hanging up, JM did hear him ask, "where my chile at?" It was at about this time that we decided to defer to Domino's. As I said, about two and a half hours after we ordered, the Papa John's guy finally showed up with our pizza. Here's the best part. At first, he tells us that all he can give us is six dollars off of our order (which the manager told us would be free). After some bitching, he said he could do half off. At about this time, the Domino's guy called and said he was five minutes away with our pizza. At this point, we basically told the Papa John's guy to go fuck himself.
Wow. I just rambled on for a long time about pizza. I just made that story not funny at all because I took too long to tell it. For brevity's sake, i am just going to try to his the rest of the highlights really quickly.
  • AS did her first keg stand ever tonight. It lasted about three seconds. (Seriously, Aly, you spent about ten times longer trying to get out of it than you did actually doing the keg stand.)
  • Every guy there stepped up and did a keg stand - I was impressed (plus, TM had beer come out of his nose).
  • At one point, I saw NS almost light his pants on fire.
  • TM poured beer on his junk (before he was even drunk).
  • Georgia B was using the air from the empty keg to clean his hands off.
  • This isn't a highlight at all in my book, but the Red sox won game one of the World Series. SW and I were the only two Cardinals fans there. Personal rant time. I spent 24 years of my life in St. Louis. I live and die by the Cards. Instead of bedtime stories, I grew up listening to Jack Buck give play-by-play on KMOX. So it only makes sense that, for the first time since I have been old enough to appreciate it that the Cards have made it to the world series, I am living in Washington D.C., where I am surrounded by Red Sox fans. Therefore, I am skipping two days of class next week so I can go home to watch games 3 and 4 in a bar in downtown St. Louis, where I will be surrounded by nothing but Cardinals fans.

I just have to end this by talking about the newspapers on the way home. I am not happy about this one bit. I took all those newspapers out of that box so that everyone would have something to do as we walked through the ghetto on the way home. I am not suprised that the papers ended up being used as weapons against each other on the way home, but how in the name of Zeus's butthole did I end up getting the worst end of this deal. I mean seirously, I took those papers out of the kindness of my own heart, so that you would all have something to occupy yourselves with, and I end up getting the shit beat out of me. Never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that I would end up on the ground in the metro station getting slapped in the face with a rolled up newspsper. I just have to say, SS, I am not going to forget that.

Well, I guess I have rambled on for long enough. I don't know how I feel about these posts. I am usually pretty drunk when I write them, but not drunk enough to not realize that I just rambled on about nothing for the last half hour. Hopefully, some of you will find humor in this. If not, well fuck me.

Regards,
Jack

p.s. If any of you remember something funny from this night that I left out, just let me know (I"ll be honest, my memory is a little fuzzy right now.)

Thursday, October 21, 2004

Midterm Day

It's 2:00 in the morning and I'm drunk - time for a blog post. So today was a big day for all GW 1Ls - that's right, midterm day. I really don't want to dwell on the exam, but I have to give a shout out to our professor (or the records office, whoever's fault it was) for forgetting the most important page of the exam. That sure made the test a lot more entertaining than it should have been. Two things happened today that I am not really proud of. First of all, we went to Lindy's after the exam. That is not the problem - I am definitely proud of 11:00 am drinking (even though I didn't get there until noon). The first thing that happened today that I am not proud of is that I drank Miller High Life. This is not normally something I would do. In fact, I started out with Budweiser, but my glass ran dry and there was a pitcher of High Life being offered to me and unfortunately I gave in. Like I said, I am not proud of this. I feel like I let down Dale Earnhardt Jr. and the entire city of St. Louis by not sticking with the Budweiser, but there was beer there just waiting to be drunk and I could not resist the temptation. I did the best thing I could to atone for this - I came home and rooted for my Cardinals. I tried to remain calm, despite the fact that this was a must win game for the Birds on Bat. However, come the top of the ninth, I started to lose my cool. As soon as the Astros tied the game, I went to the fridge for an ice cold Bud Light. I spent the next three and a half innings giving play-by-play over IM to my friend Sam, who was too upset to even watch the game. My night went a whole lot better once Jimmy Edmonds decided to show up for this series and hit the game winning homer. All I have to say is bring it Roger - you ain't got nothin'. The second thing that i am not proud of happened shortly after this. I went over to CM's to watch the New York/Boston game (and I have to say I was very impressed with the 24oz cans of beer - I really felt like a bitch with my weak 12oz can). As much as it pains me to admit this, and despite my previous post, I found myself rooting for the Red Sox. I guess I just got caught up in the moment, but I couldn't help myself. I guess I just wanted to see the end to quite possibly the biggest collapse in baseball history. Regardless, it doesn't matter, since the Red Sox are going to lose to the Cardinals anyway. After this it was time to go to super sweet McFadden's. I just have to tell you all how much i love that place - no wait, i don't. It wasn't too bad tonight, since there were a lot of cool people there and you could actually move (plus we had the added benefit of CG being the first one we saw there). I guess that was a good time, especially once I switched over to the straight whiskey. JM was just slightly drunk - he deserves a shout out. I think the highlight of the evening was the walk home, when I had a damn fine woman on each arm. I really don't know how I feel about this post - I re-read it and I didn't find it very funny or entertaining. Maybe I should be a little more sober when I write these. Or a whole lot more drunk.

Monday, October 18, 2004

Best Friends

Last Saturday nightIi had the opportunity to meet up for dinner with my best friend Tweeder. We went to Hooters, of course, for some wings and NASCAR. The few hours that we were able to spend together reminded me of how lucky I am to have him as my friend. For those of you who don't have a best friend, you are missing out. Tweeder and I have had so many good times together that I cant even count them all. However, there is so much more to it than that. I know that I can always count on this guy to be there for me. He is the one person on this earth that I can talk to about anything and everything. He has helped me through so many hard times that I can't even count them all. He always knows the right thing to say, and he has a way of saying things that seems to just make my problems disappear. We were virtually inseperable in college. Now that we have both moved on, we don't see each other as often, but when we are able to get together, we manage to pick up right where we left off. Hopefully, all you D.C. folk will get to meet him next semester, as his job will have him living here for at least a few months early next year. I guess in the end, words can't really explain how much it means to me to have Tweeder as a friend. Just knowing that, no matter what happens, he is just a phone call away makes life just that much easier.

Sunday, October 17, 2004

Happy Birthday Big Brother

I just wanted to send birthday greetings to my brother. He lives in San Francisco with his wife, where they both work in the corporate office for Gap, Inc. I know that most likely nobody who is reading this even knows my brother, but I am proud of him and just wanted to give him a shout out on his b-day.

Section 14 Flag Football

Read all about the Section 14 Flag Football team's most recent victory at section14.blogspot.com

"I'm quasi-worried about where my cell phone is."

"I'm quasi-worried about where my cell phone is." That had to be the quote of the evening, provided by TM on the cab ride back to the FB. (Yes, I just turned Foggy Bottom into "the FB", but I like it and I'm going to go with it). That was, in fact, the only coherent thing that T said for a good portion of the evening. I had my first experience of going out on the town with the Back Row Boys tonight, and I have to say, they didn't upset. After meeting up with my best friend Tweeder (to be covered in a forthcoming post), I met up with the Boys at CD's place. Apparently, they had been enjoying the adult beverages for a while before I showed up. Once the Yankees took a lead of a billion to seven (and after I had subjected them to 13 laps of NASCAR), we decided it was bar time. First stop was Madhatter. That lasted until we saw the 20 person deep line at the front door. Next we went to the standard Madhatter overflow bar, Sign of the Whale. That place blew too. After fighting our way through a crowd of drunken grinding, we quickly vetoed this hell hole. Next stop, Lucky Bar. This was slightly better. At least we could get to the bar to order a drink. However, after a few minutes in the middle of an enormous crowd. we decided we were less interested in picking up women and more interested in getting as trashed as we could. Where did we go? Well, The Front Page, of course. It's always a good sign when the bouncer recognizes you when you walk in the door. This is where we all pretty much went from normal human beings to drunken idiots (except for CO and PE, who managed to keep it pretty calm - props to them). It got off to a good start when T ordered Wild Turkey shots for him and CD. Inspired by this, I started drinking Wild Turkey and Coke - heavily. In the mean time, SR and BM decided it was time for Jamieson shots. Let me tell you, these were some healthy shots. I'm not talking about the standard weekend bar shots in a little plastic cup - no, they got a rocks glass nearly full of the good stuff. Menawhile, CD was drinking beer like it was his job, and T was giving his best "BackThat Ass Up" move to White Dress Girl. As you can imagine, the night just went downhill from there. EVB had the misfortune of showing up at this point. E, I would just like to take this opportunity to apologize for any inappropriate behavior. (How drunk am I - I just had to use Microsoft Word to spellcheck "inappropriate") SR and BM decided it would be a good idea to have another enormous shot, and I felt that more Turkey was in order. Meanwhile, T could barely keep his eyes open. It was at about this point that CD switched into "Mother" mode and started to worry about getting everybody home. It's pretty ironic that the guy that was the most interested in getting FUBAR turns out to be the responsible one at night's end. All in all, it was a pretty damn good time. Being a 1L isn't so bad after all (at least, I'm having more fun than last time).

Friday, October 15, 2004

Random (somewhat drunk) musings

Here are just a few things I have been thinking about over the past few days (F.Y.I. the Microsoft Word definition of musings is "thoughts, especially when aimless and unsystematic" - I think that "aimless and unsystematic" is the best way to describe my writings)

1. For the first time ever, the Metro was ahead of schedule tonight. When we got to the station, the last train was pulling out. The station attendant directed our attention to the "official station clock", which said 11:54. However, the sign said that the last train in our direction was scheduled to leave at 11:55. I think NS has a good case when he calls tomorrow to sue the bastards - if nothing else, somebody at the Metro customer service department is going to have a bad day.

2. Red Sox fans are pissing me off. I know I am not going to make any friends by saying this, but I am really getting sick of Boston fans. They are almost as bad as Nebraska Cornhusker football fans, and anybody who knows me knows that I hate Nebraska fans with a passion (two words - Texas Tech), Red Sox fans never shut up about the Red Sox. Granted, I talk about the Cardinals a lot, but I have the decency to limit it to converastions about baseball. Red Sox manage to bring it up in every single conversation. What makes it worse is that they whine more than Luke Skywalker. Every time something goes against the Sox, their fans bitch and moan for days on end. When they win, they talk about it forever, and when they lose, they make excuses for months. Here's my excuse for why you lose - the Yankees are a better team. I know when they Sox lose the ALCS in a few days that all I will hear is excuses - Schilling was hurt, etc. Why don't you just admit that you suck and get it over with.

3. Buffalo Billards can kiss my ass. So we had a Section happy hour the other day at Buffalo Billards in DuPont, and that place sucked from the minute we got there. The jackass doorman tried to turn away one of our group because his temporary ID didn't have his picture on it. He didn't do it kindly either - he was a total dick, saying shit like "It's not open for discussion. you can't get in." This was one of those bouncers who thinks bouncing is cool and goes home and watches Road House and fondles himself. It felt so good when we asked to see the manager and he let us in. Unfortunately, things didnt get any better once we got in the bar. Our waitress was so nonexistant that I thought I lost my credit card when I didn't see her for three hours. The bartender took forever to take out order, then bitched at us for taking too long. The worst part was that the bar was anti-Midwest. When it was game time, they had the Yankees/Red Sox game on 47 billion TVs and the Cards/Astros game on one 13 inch P.O.S that was hidden in the corner. We can't get no respect.

That's pretty much all I have to say right now - or at least all I have the patience to type. I'll talk to y'all later.

Peace,
Jack

p.s. Ramen is great.

p.p.s Congrats to NS for being the first person other than me to be in my apartment - even if it was just to use the toilet.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

NS's Birthday

Last Saturday, NS had a party at his place to celebrate his birthday. Needless to say, I took a few pictures. You can see them at the link below...

http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=142uiy4i.7qjs79a&x=1&y=6p8ori

My Birthday

A whole flock of us went to the Oriole's game (get it...flock..Oriole...I crack myself up) for my birthday. I have to say that it was the most fun I've had on my birthday for a long time. Thanks, everybody. Here are some pictures...

http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=142uiy4i.13lq4zgu&x=1&y=9rux44

PK's Birthday

A bunch of us went to see the Capital Steps Comedy Troupe. Afterwards we had a little gathering at D and P's apartment. Here is a link to the pictures.

http://www.ofoto.com/I.jsp?c=142uiy4i.lg2qtfm&x=0&y=-64qimz

Welcome

Well, I guess I'm doing the whole blog thing now. I signed up basically to help the Hon. Mr. C with the Section site, but I had to set up my own site in order to sign up so I figured I might as well post something on it. What I am going to post, I really don't know, but I figure I can come up with something. We'll see how long this lasts.